The Impact

I REGRET NOTHING

I REGRET NOTHING
April 5, 2018

Words of wisdom to anyone in the world who wants to make a point but doesn’t want to single someone out, don’t make eye contact with me. You might have not meant to do it, hell I might not apply...

Gourmet Popcorn: A Large Bag Of Bad Ideas

Gourmet Popcorn: A Large Bag Of Bad Ideas
February 27, 2018

Just because you slap the word “gourmet” onto something doesn’t mean that it becomes a good idea. Yes, I am aware that the definition of gourmet means “good food”, I’m an English major people,...

Vote Dulce De Leche (Creamy Caramel) For Dum Dums Flavor 2018

Vote Dulce De Leche (Creamy Caramel) For Dum Dums Flavor 2018
February 19, 2018

I, Mark Andrew McCarthy, Staff Writer for the Impact News and only person on earth with a brain, hereby cast my endorsement for dulce de leche (creamy caramel) as a returning flavor to the Dum Dum lollipop...

A More Potent Poison Than Venom

A More Potent Poison Than Venom
February 11, 2018

Sony please, for the love of god, step away from the movie rights. I know you think you're good at comic adaptations, even though everyone says that you aren’t. I know that you think the success Spider-Man...

Wait They Won, Why Are They Rioting?

Wait They Won, Why Are They Rioting?
February 5, 2018

I would like to take a moment to let everyone know that despite Philadelphia’s best efforts, the city is still standing. Yes, I know it’s sad. I know that Philly really wanted to destroy its arch-rival,...

The Oscars Don’t Matter, Now Change the Channel

The first Oscar¨ is crane-lifted into place at the entrance of the Kodak Theatre  on Monday, February 18, 2008, as preparations begin for the 80th Academy Awards¨.  Academy Awards for outstanding film achievements of 2007 will be presented on Sunday, February 24, 2008, at the Kodak Theatre at Hollywood & Highland Center¨, and televised live by the ABC Television Network beginning at 5 p.m. PT. The Oscar presentation also will be televised live in more than 200 countries worldwide.

Todd Wawrychuk / ©A.M.P.A.S.
January 29, 2018

Welcome to the Oscars, where the nominations are made up and the awards don't matter. I am aware that what I’m about to say isn’t new by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel its necessary...

Boxes, The Future of Technology

Boxes, The Future of Technology
January 22, 2018

So, cardboard…yeah… this wasn’t what I was expecting. This isn’t a bad move by any means, just a weird one. If someone came up to me 2 months ago and told me that Nintendo would be hyping up...

To Hell With Smartphones

To Hell With Smartphones
November 9, 2017

I know I might be coming off as an 80-year-old grandpa, but screw it, you all need to be told the truth. SMARTPHONES ARE TERRIBLE. Oh, and before you make the argument,  "Oh Mark you own one too,...

Dear Justice League: Don’t Drop The Ball

Dear Justice League: Don’t Drop The Ball
October 24, 2017

I know its tough D.C., trying to make a cinematic universe to compete with Marvels. Believe me, I get that you want to jump into the ring as fast as possible. I get that you feel it might be unfair to...

Mechanized WWE

Mechanized WWE
October 18, 2017

You know the one thing that doesn’t need a script? A giant robot death match. Nobody needs a backstory just to see two mech's punch each other for a couple of hours. If you look at some of the shows...

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