Accepting Your Place In The Friend Zone


The friend zone is, in its simplest form, equivalent to relationship limbo, although to others it’s more like relationship hell.

There are a few ways to determine whether or not you’re in the friend zone. For example, are you always referred to as best friend, buddy, sister/brother, or homie? Is the affection you give not returned? Are your romantic gestures ignored or even worse, found to be funny?

Well, I’m sorry to tell you that you may be in the friend zone. (cue video game noise when you die.)

Sometimes, the friend you love will keep their feelings about you hidden because they don’t know how you feel about them.

Or maybe they’re afraid of taking things further because of a possible future breakup and losing a close friend.

Either way, those in the friend zone who get their feelings returned are the lucky ones. To tell the person you love how you feel and get it in return is the greatest feeling in the world.

However, life isn’t a cliché romance movie where life works out exactly the way you wanted it to in the end.

Attraction isn’t always returned.

But here’s the deal, just because you want them to feel the same doesn’t mean you’re entitled to that reciprocation of feelings.

I think a lot of people in the friend zone are under the impression that the friend they want is supposed to want them too. And while that would be ideal, it isn’t realistic.

So I’m going to make something very clear for the people who think that way:

You can buy them gifts.

You can pay for them.

You can shower them with compliments and drown them with affection.

You can do everything that would qualify you as the best boyfriend or girlfriend in the entire human population.

But none of that means you somehow deserve to get them if they simply just do not feel the same.

It is impossible to make someone love you just because you do nice things for them. Or if you love them.

I hear it all the time, people getting mad because no matter what they do, they can’t get the person they chase after to want them back.

That is not what love is.

Love isn’t manipulating and conditioning someone to make feelings appear that weren’t there to begin with.

You have no right to access someone’s heart when they don’t want you there.

It’s a harsh reality that must be understood by all those bitter, angry people out there who keep trying to make magic happen.

Of course there are going to people who may not like you at first, but once getting to know you might be won over by your charming personality, your witty sarcasm, or maybe your willingness to drop some cash on dates.

Whatever it is that people are attracted to, it is important to understand that there are other people out there who are going to love you for everything you are.

Wasting your time, effort, and energy on someone who you will never win over makes no sense. Not to mention makes you look stupid, and kind of scary.

Don’t be that annoying mosquito buzzing in someone’s ear that just won’t go away.

Don’t be that creep who doesn’t take no for an answer.

There is a fine line between romance and stalking, and after several failed and unreturned attempts of winning someone over, that line gets crossed.

Now, you don’t want to be thought of as a creepy nuisance by someone you love and consider a good friend, do you?

I didn’t think so.

In that case, it’s best to just move on and accept the fact that he or she doesn’t and will never like you back.

You know that little voice in your head telling you that maybe if you try this one last thing they’ll change their mind? Ignore it, drown it out with music, and get rid of it. Bad advice like that will take you from friend zone to restraining order.

If someway, somehow you and your friend are meant to be, then let destiny do its job.

But it’s best to not think that’s even an option and just move on with your life, even if that means taking some personal time away from your friend.

I’m sure your friend would much rather you get some space and time to get over a crush than spend the rest of your friendship trying to woo them when they don’t want you to.

Life in the friend zone can be torture and emotionally draining. But if the person you’re pining after isn’t giving you what you want, then you need to accept your place in their life and move on with yours.

There’s nothing wrong with being friends with someone you love, even if it can be hard at times.

What you have to do is continue on with your life and stop trying to make the impossible happen.

I can guarantee that one person out of the seven billion on this planet not liking you back isn’t the end of the world.

You will find someone else who loves and appreciates everything you do for them, and you’re going to look back and wish you hadn’t spent so much time on someone when something better came along in the end.

Life is too short to be miserable and doing things that ultimately make your misery even worse.

So if you’re in love with your friend, here’s what you should do:

Tell them how you feel.

If they return your affection, that’s great and congratulations. If they don’t, then at least now you know and can begin to search for someone who will.