Ever since I can remember, I always said I wouldn’t be in a long distance relationship. They just didn’t make any sense to me. In my head it was all about putting in the effort to make a relationship work without getting to enjoy the good parts, which in a way it is, but it is not as bad as it sounds. For almost a year now I’ve been in a long-distance relationship, different countries type of distance, but I don’t regret any of it.
At first it’s great, meeting someone who you have a lot in common with, getting used to talking to somebody all the time, and all the excitement that comes with a new relationship, but it is hard to develop trust and build a genuine connection when you’re not psychically in the same place. After all, relationships are all about feeling close to someone. Preferably, you would have that bond already, before being long distance. But starting a long distance relationship is worth the try. It is possible, it just requires both people to go the extra mile to make the relationship work. Keep your mind open and your guard down and embrace the new emotions, the good and the bad, it is all part of the relationship.
I’m not going to lie, for the most part it sucks and it takes a lot of work, relationships are hard to begin with, especially in this day and age. Social media, people’s desire to not settle down and have fun, and trying to work on your future, all while trying to keep a healthy relationship, requires work from both parts. I would have never done it unless I thought it was worth it and was sure that the good moments would outweigh the bad ones.
Planning visits and actually visiting each other is in my opinion, what helps the most, having something to look forward to helps you keep the excitement and feel secure. One of the best parts of a relationship is spending time together and the feeling of being so close with someone. So you need to get that feeling even if it’s not as often as you might want it to be. Of course it all depends on each other’s financial situation and free time. For some people it might mean a short drive for others it means catching a flight. Whatever it might be it is all about planning and compromising. If you really want it you can make it happen. There should also be a balance when it comes to who is visiting. It’s not fair to expect just one person to be the one who always puts in the effort.
FaceTime, Skype and phone-calls make everything easier, with today’s technology, it is easy to feel close to someone who is far away. Although texting is almost a norm in today’s relationships, it is not enough to keep a relationship afloat. Talking and especially seeing the other person is after all, what a relationship is all about. Knowing about each other’s day, what’s going on in each other’s life and simply hanging out. That’s what makes the relationship stronger.
Technology makes long distance relationships possible, it doesn’t need to be that hard.
Pictures just for you two or something material to hold on to mean a lot when you’re away from the other person. A hoodie, a shirt, maybe a stuffed animal, anything to hold on to, keeps the idea of them real, instead of just someone you text all the time. Snapchat videos and pictures I never upload are my favorite thing to look at at night.
It all works out if you have something to look forward to, after all, why would you put all this effort for nothing. A long distance relationship is usually not something just for fun, which happens to be a trend now, they usually happen because people can see potential, or at least had something good to being with and want to see were it could lead. Thinking about what all the effort could lead to reminds me why it is all worth it.
At the end of the day, it is all about making time for the things your want and be willing to put effort in to make it work. Although the situation is far from ideal, you shouldn’t miss out on someone great because of the circumstances. You can look at it as an adventure, lots of traveling to new places, new people, and appreciating the time you get with that person even more.