Do you ever find your self in situations where you are slowly drifting away from a childhood friend? Or maybe a person you met during your adolescent years and you thought you’d be B.F.F’s for well… ever?
If you’ve dealt with this in the past or are currently going through a similar situation, then I am here to tell you, congratulations! You are simply growing up. And now many of you may be scratching your worried little heads but rest assure, this is a perfectly natural thing that happens as we get older and encounter new interests.
Growing up I didn’t have a lot of friends and I have always kept a pretty small circle however, now that I am a bit older I’ve noticed that my circle of friends have been changing – often. At one point I began to wonder, is it me? But after doing some close evaluations and having long deep conversations with my mom I began to realize that I am nowhere near the same person I was four years ago. That explains why my friendships over that course of time.
As we grow older the things we become interested in, change. Sometimes that causes our friendship to change as well. Some of you may read this and think to yourselves, this could never happen to my BFF, and me however; it is very likely to happen. In fact I thought the same thing four years ago after I graduated from high school.
The summer before I went away to college my mom wanted to have a long talk. She sat me down and told me that things were going to change. I was going away to college and my friends at home were staying behind. These were things I was already aware of. My mom continued to tell me that while I’m away at school I would build new friendships and my friends at home would do the same. I knew what she was getting at and I was highly offended. How dare her try to insinuate that my friendships, established in the early years of junior high, were going to fail. I was determined to prove her wrong.
It took a year and a half for one of my friendships to permanently terminate. I was a sophomore in college and a friend I considered to be family just simply didn’t see eye to eye any longer. I remember seeing the first few signs when I invited her to an art museum for a class assignment. I hadn’t seen her in months so I figured it would be a perfect way to catch up with each other while I worked on my art project, and we could appreciate the beautiful sculptures and paintings – killing THREE birds with one stone, at least that’s how I would have liked it to go. Instead she made immature jokes and comments through most of the tour and I found myself both annoyed and a little embarrassed. What was happening? A year ago I would have found her obnoxious comments hilarious, but in this very moment I just found it intolerable. So, I walked off and finished the rest of the tour myself.
I was heart broken. Not to mention bitter to fact that my mother was right. After that things just continued to go down hill, as our interests in things seem to differ, tremendously. I began to find time with my new friends much more enjoyable and beneficial. It was then that I realized I was going down a different path. I was being introduced to a different perception of life – seeing things differently. I was maturing and I wanted the people who surrounded me to reflect that growth.
Although I miss and love that friend dearly, I have come to terms that sometimes things such as that just happen and it is completely okay. It’s like outgrowing childhood toys. This doesn’t mean that all friendships terminate this way. I still am close with a few friends from home, who I believe have matured extensively and it brings me great joy to see the strength and growth of our friendship. Just remember this:
“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone.” –Orson Welles.