Run. Run. Run. Wipe off the sweat from your face. Change your Pandora station to Missy Eliot. Yes! Work it, your favorite song! Raise up the volume. Run fast. Faster. Treadmill stops.
Now walk over to the open studio. Look at yourself at the mirror. Yea you look thinner but thin enough. Ok Flatty McFlatness, it’s time for squats. One squat, two squat, three squat. Check yourself in the mirror again. Yeah, your butt looks bigger now, but those arms don’t.
Leave the open studio and walk towards the weight room. Caution, you’re about to enter into a new world. A world where men, impressively women too, are lifting weights that weigh close to an elephant. Screaming from the pain or the achievement of being able to lift a heavier weight. Sweating like fat boy who is running for the last piece of cake.
Wait, stop. Before you go to the weight room change your music to a much more masculine song. Power by Kanye West. Perfect. Walk bold with your chest out, eyes looking up never down, and have an angry face on. Most importantly, act like you know how to lift weights and lift those weights like you are Paul Anderson.
Walking slowly, observing that one lady who is preparing herself to lift that 100 pounds weight bar. She grips her hands tight on the bar with her stocky arms. Her arms big and round like you can place a full course dinner that won’t tip over.
The herculean lady lifts it up and she’s not struggling. Lifting it up and down. Oh my god. How can she do that? She stops and touches fists with a man wearing a muscle t shirt.
An angry man face walking towards you. What are you doing? Don’t you know you’re not part of this weight lifting clan? Get out of his way. Don’t look down. Look at him straight to the face. Let him know you’re a pro at this.
Sit down on that strength equipment. Place your stomach towards the black seating. Stretch your arms out. To the right then to your left.
A teenager is on the same equipment but his back is facing towards the seat. You get up and fix your position before anyone catches your ignorance on sitting the equipment.
You observe the teenager spreading his arms and lifting the weights very slowly on a ten-pound bar.
Laugh inside. Thinking and telling yourself that you can lift that up without any struggle.
You set the bar at the same weight, your face smirks as you get ready to show off to that teenager that you can do the same.
Breathe in, breathe out. Push the bar up but the bar doesn’t go up. Push it again. Nothing.
Continuing to push it up but the bar doesn’t want to go up.
The teenager sees you having trouble. He gets up and walks towards you and notice him. Let go of the bar and look at your phone and pretend to text someone.
He greets and you look up with a serious face. He points at the yellow safe lock. You unlock it and lift the bar. You laugh and thank him.
Ah, ten pounds is nothing. Up, up, down. Easy. Move to 20.
OK, it is somewhat easy. Thirty? Take it easy now tiger. You’re no Hulk Hogan. Forty? OK you’re making your death bed.
Pandora switches to a Taylor Swift song. No. Why?
Struggling to lift a 40-pound bar. Hands and arms are shaking. You close your eyes and you bite your mouth.
Don’t drop it instantly. Slowly lift it down. Now back up. Keep it up for ten seconds. Don’t sing or lip sync to You Belong With Me.
No. Your feeble arms are not accustoming to this heavy sport and is dangerously shaking. You instantly let go and your phone falls and disconnects from the headphones.
A loud slam is echoing through the weight room while Taylor Swift is playing. Many stop and look at your non-muscular appearance and judge you from the music that is playing from your phone.
Get up and stop Taylor Swift from singing. Your macho side is getting ruin and your masculinity is being judge.
Look down and get out of the habitat that you don’t belong. Get back on that treadmill that everyone can conquer.
What are you doing this again? You always seem to start lifting weights but you never fully accomplish it. You end up giving up because you can’t handle it. The weights hitting each other and people adding more weights to their bar always questions your capability of being like them.
You weak and pathetic person. Trying to fit in and act like you can lift. You can’t lift any weight. The only weight you were able to carry was that 300 pound of body fat that you once had back in high school.
What a shame. Don’t you wish you were in the football team back in high school? Or wish you started lifting weights at a young age?
Don’t blame anyone for non-athletic and weak strength body but yourself. Yeah, you lost a lot of weight. You came from a heavy fat kid in high school to a “skinny” boy in college. Now, it’s time to lift weights and have some muscles on your body.
Tone those arms up. You don’t want to be fist pumping in the clubs with those flabby arms.
Be that muscular person you wish to be. Try to lift that heavy weight or dumbbell and show off your masculinity. Act like you’re one of the guys!
Don’t let them other men, women, and teenager that are lifting and grunting intimidate you. They’ve work hard to have the body that you wish you have. They were once you, someone who lacks from muscles and no knowledge of how to lift weights.
So you know what? Go back in that weight room and redeem yourself.
Put some Kanye songs to push you, or even blast Taylor Swift songs, if that really motivates you.
Grab that weight bar and now squat down and up while carrying it. Look at the mirror and continue to do it. You will slowly progress to this new athletic and much stronger individual.
Here’s to the athlete you wish you were in your youth days, and here’s to the adult athlete you soon hope to be.