“I Ain’t Saying She a Gold Digger” This topic has been brought to my attention during one of the newspaper class discussions, should a female pay for outdoor activities with a male? Should you have to pay for events if your partner or date is the one who asked you out? These questions seem to be an ongoing discussion that cannot be answered by the impact team. I find it shocking and quite disrespectful to be asked on a date but expected to pay for the fun or go “half”. This topic can become very “iffy” and can be very stressful when voicing your opinion to your spouse.
As a female, setting certain standards for how a date should run and be organized is considered a gold digger. In my opinion, the finance of a date should be placed upon the man. The idea of location, attire and setting can be judged by the female but it is a man’s duty to provide. I was recently talking to a friend of mine who was dating a guy who had longed for her attention for years. He would publically display his feelings for her through social media and through his colleagues. My friend had finally given him the chance to go out with him only to find out he was cheap, he’d ask to go out on dates and then spilt the bill with her. Normally I am all for equal relationships, things being spilt between the two. However, not when you are first dating or getting to know someone.
When I first bought this topic up during one of the Impact staff meetings, I noticed the responses were very different. Some agreed that splitting things down the middle help create and let you both know you’re equal when concerning money however, most agreed that having a bill spilt between you two at the beginning of a starting relationship only leads to a cheap spouse. It wasn’t until my friend went through her bank statements and noticed the petty transactions for less than $10 each that she decided to call things off with her new lover. She seeks the advice of many, mainly men hoping to not be bias but even they agreed that her new lover was a cheap lover. My friend tried breaking things off several times but her cheap lover was actually a sweet lover. This resulted in my friend going out on more dates (paying half) and her cheap, sweet lover falling head over heels for her.
I personally feel that when entering, existing or exiting relationship money can be a touchy and an uncomfortable topic to discuss. When entering a new relationship, money should be one of the first things bought to hand so that there is no later confusion. When entering a new marriage you wouldn’t say I do to someone who has horrible credit and bankrupted so why would you enter a new relationship to become someone’s personal bank account? From past experiences, I’ve always gain the courage and vocally voice my opinion on finances and what MY money means to me. I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, but she sure as hell is not messing with no broke.