Game Informer recently released a “readers choice” top 300 list on video games. Now taste is subjective, so everyones top 10, or 300 if you insist on obsessing on this fact. However, some of the games on this list should not be on this list, like at all. So I thought, what are the 10 games that should never appear on any list? So buckle up kids, cause we’re going in hard. The first two appeared on the top 300 list, so pardon the slight repetition. The point of this section is to make it clear that some games don’ deserve to be on any list. Also, I only included games that I felt are either beyond repair or did something unforgivable. So no 2017 BattleFront 2, since that game just announced its dropping its loot box system and I want to have some hope this will help the game out a lot.
10.) Mass Effect: Andromeda
Now lets be clear, any game that had a disastrous launch should not be on any list. Andromeda was a game that while its mechanics were praised, its graphics and story were garbage. And since Mass Effect was marketed as a story heavy game, thats a big deal. But to make matters worst, this game killed the franchise. Thats right folks, the whole Mass Effect franchise was put on ice just because this game tanked so hard. If your game single handily put an entire franchise to death, you don’t get to be put on any list.
9.) Call Of Duty WWII
Ok so a WWII game should not be that hard to screw up. You shoot the nazi and thats it. Thats all you want to do in a WWII game. But you wanna know what you should never do in a WWII game? Only do it in Germany. Thats right, the whole campaign is from D-day to the end of the war. No pacific theater, Africa campaign or any of the stuff with England. Now you could get away with this in the old days, back when the wwII genre was still new. But those days are over, and we just recently had a WWI game from the producers of Battlefield that created a more hyped game that brought the insanity of ww1 to gamers. You gotta step up your game C.O.D. I wanna play through all the greatest hits of the war, not the last album.
8.) Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity
This game can open the gate to infinite hell and walk through it for all I care. It took a series that once had some spine to it and de-spined it completely. Side characters that are just annoying, the inability to do multiple quests in a single run-through. The fact that the story is shoved down your throat in an RPG that was primarily about DUNGEON EXPLORATION. IT FORCES YOU TO DO LINIAR EXPLORATION. AND THE WHOLE PROCESS OF UPGRADING YOUR BASE STINKS TO, IT ALL STINKS. AND THE FRIENDSHIP SPEECHES, DEAR GOD, IT WAS BAD BEFORE BUT NOW ITS WORSE! Don’t play this game.
7.) Marvel Vs Capcom Infinite
A gutted roster, infinity stone gimmicks that don’t make sense, shit story and even shittier character models. This is less of a game and more of an advertisement for the Disney MCU with the avenger heavy roster. Meanwhile, Capcom lost half of its history and plays second fiddle to the games story. Whoever greenlite this game had a finite view on how mascot fighters worked.
6.) Pokémon X/Y, Sun/Moon and Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon
The games have always had varying levels of difficulty, but this one had the worst drop in difficulty ever. The 3D Pokemon games on 3DS just have not done it for me these last couple of generation. If they aren’t just handing out OP mega stones, they are replacing the gyms with these “totem Pokemon” that are easier than gyms! Ultra-beasts lose their glamor after you catch a few and the facial expressions on your character avatar are soulless.
5.) Metal Gear Survive
A soulless zombie survival game that is a stain on an otherwise epic series. It lacks the insane writing style of Kojima and should not have been made at all.
4.) Goat Simulator
Simulator games are meme fodder and nothing more. They get by on either weird game physics or odd subject matter. Goat simulator is guilty of both of these sins. You play as a goat that runs around destroying things and being flung around like a rag doll. Sure, you get a laugh at first from watching your goat blow up a gas station, after that you realize you hit the peak of goat humor. Even becoming the got king/ devil doesn’t do much for you after that.
3.) Mario Party 9-10
If I don’t wanna strangle my friends after a round of Mario party, then I’m not playing Mario party. Mario Party 9-10 are not Mario Party, they’re trash. They ditch the four man fight to the death over stars to a car ride through the country side. What. The. Fuck. I can’t kill my friends over this! Its less of a completion and more of a long, dragged out mini game expo. If you win a game in either 9 or 10, you aren’t the winner. No one is.
2.) No Man’s Sky
It had the length of the ocean, but the depth of a puddle. While the patching has added a lot of new mechanics, it also added the dumbest story plot ever. It throws around religious imagery and tries to act deep when its just another “your in a simulation” crap storyline all over again. The Matrix is just “The Allegory of The Cave” with leather. Its not worth copying at every chance possible. In fact I’d argue that the games would have been better off as a Minecraft clone in space, right on down to the blocks. Because if they are going to copy something, let it be good game design.
1.) Sonic 06
Sonic the hedgehog should never have any form of a relationship with a human, it just looks weird. Sonic 06 ignores that rule on top of decent level design. To top it all off the game is a failed attempt at rebranding the blue hedgehog into something he is not. Sonic was not built for epic story telling, he is a speedster. That should be focus on first and foremost. Also Silver the Hedgehog, he was not a good idea at all. Everyone and their grandmother complained about captain “Its No Use”, and I am no different. This game need 2 more years of beta testing and planning than it received, and a different writer since the current one had a soft spot for beastiality. Don’t play it, not even as a joke.