I’ve always thought first dates feel like job interviews. You get dressed up, tell your best stories, and hope they call you back. But what happens when the “interview” ends in the bedroom?
I sent a survey to every guy I know about this exact topic. Most of them were between 18–24, a few were 25–34, and almost 79 percent admitted they’ve had sex on the first date. We’ve all been there — I definitely have — but what happens after? That’s where things get messy.
A full 33 percent of guys said it changed the way they saw the woman — and not in a good way.
One guy didn’t hold back:
“Absolutely nothing. She showed her worth to me that night and that’s all I needed to know.”
OUCH! That one stung. Because how is someone’s “worth” determined by one night? You know you enjoyed it…
Another guy doubled down:
“If she sleeps with me on date one, she probably sleeps with everyone. Not wife material.”
But not every answer made me roll my eyes. A lot of guys were surprisingly chill about it:
“No, it didn’t change my view.”
“It depends on the quality of the overall interaction, not just the sex.”
“If she was confident and we had a good time, I’d still want to date her.”
“I don’t care when it happens, if there’s chemistry, I’ll pursue something serious.”
And honestly, reading those felt like proof there’s still hope — like maybe I don’t have to become a nun just yet. When I asked if first-date sex made them more or less likely to want a relationship, they were all over the place.
Some guys admitted:
“Somewhat less likely.”
“Much less likely.
“Sex too soon kills the mystery for me. I lose interest.”
“And OK, I have to say it — if “mystery” is the only thing holding a guy’s interest, maybe it was never that deep to begin with.”
But others said the exact opposite:
“Somewhat more likely.”
“Much more likely.”
“If it’s good, it makes me more interested. I know we have chemistry.”
And then, of course, there were the guys who just shrugged:
“No difference.”
When I averaged it all out, it landed right in the middle — 3.1 out of 5. Basically, half of them are open to seeing where it goes, the other half are already writing you off before brunch the next morning.
When I asked what makes a woman “serious” material after first-date sex, they really showed their cards:
“Respect. If she respects herself, I respect her.”
“It depends on if she wanted to get to know me or just wanted sex.”
“If she has a good conversation, that’s what matters, not the sex.”
“I’m taking mental notes the whole night about how she acts, what she says, how she carries herself.”
“If we hang out again and it’s not just sex then I take her seriously.”
“Nothing.”
“Absolutely nothing. She showed her worth to me that night.”
And maybe this is the part where I say: ladies, they are watching everything. Every joke, every drink order, every flirty comment — apparently, it all gets filed under “serious” or “just for fun.”
Even in 2025, 62 percent of guys said there’s still a stigma around women having sex on the first date.
“Men are praised, women are shamed. That’s just how society is.”
“Yes, as they should be. Women view sex as emotional, men don’t.”
“Yes, but I don’t care. That’s between me and her.”
Reading that last one almost made me breathe easier — like, OK, at least someone gets it.
When I asked what they wanted after first-date sex, most of them said:
“To see where it goes.”
But of course, some were brutally honest:
“Just casual fun.”
“To brag to my friends.”
“Honestly? To go to sleep.”
And that’s the part that made me laugh because, yeah, sometimes it’s the same.
So where does that leave us? Somewhere between “I’d still want to date her” and “Not wife
material. Between “Sex too soon kills the mystery” and “If it’s good, it makes me more
interested.”
And as I closed my laptop, I couldn’t help but think — maybe first-date sex doesn’t ruin your shot at being taken seriously. Maybe it just shows you who was never taking you seriously to begin with.
If one night is all it takes for him to decide what kind of woman you are — maybe he’s already told you what kind of man he is.