Commuting in New York City is hard enough without the added stress of dealing with people who can’t take a hint. It’s the kind of experience that leaves you drained, frustrated, and questioning why some people feel entitled to disrupt your day.
Recently, while waiting for my train, headphones in, hoping for a quiet ride home, I found myself in a situation that happens far too often to women in this city. “Hey, why are you ignoring me?” came a voice from somewhere behind me.
I didn’t turn around. I didn’t respond. I just kept staring ahead, hoping he would just leave me alone. But, ignoring him only seemed to make him more persistent. “Why are you being shy?” he asked. It wasn’t shyness I just didn’t want to interact with him.
When I moved further down the platform, he followed. Then he said something that sent a chill through me: “I’m a man, not like the boys you’re probably used to.”
His tone made it clear he wasn’t going to back off easily. Before I could even process that, he escalated. “You look tired,” he said. “Maybe I should give you a massage.” The audacity of someone thinking that was remotely appropriate left me stunned. And then he took it even further: “Why don’t you take me home with you?”
At this point, I could feel my pulse racing. I kept moving, trying to create distance, but he wasn’t giving up. Then, to my horror, he tried to reach out and touch me. It wasn’t an accidental brush it was deliberate. I froze for a moment, feeling completely alone as I realized no one else around me seemed interested in stepping in or even noticing what was happening.
Just when it felt like there was no way out, the train finally arrived. It wasn’t even the one I was waiting for the 5 train instead of the 4 but I didn’t care. I got on, desperate to put as much space between me and that man as possible.
This kind of experience is far too familiar to New York women who take public transportation. Many of my friends have shared similar moments of being followed, cornered, or confronted by strangers who don’t seem to grasp the discomfort from these experiences. It’s not just about one creepy guy it’s about the constant need to stay on guard, knowing that a simple trip home can turn into an ordeal because someone feels entitled to your time, attention, or personal space.
