When I was a little girl, I used to go to church all of the time.  It was mandatory for us to go church every Sunday in my family. My grandparents and parents wouldn’t miss one Sunday. Religion is really important to a lot of people all over the world. There are  so many different religions and churches.

I use to love church, even though there were times where it got boring. There was times even when I was trying to pay attention I ended up falling asleep or thinking about food. The first thirty minutes or hour I used to be engaged but after that it was hard to stay focus.

I grew up knowing it is important to go and to be in the presence of the lord. The priest or pastor was his messengers.

I started off going to Catholic Church as I got older I started to question some of their readings. Then, I moved to Evangelical Christian church with my cousins. It was fun and it kept me more engaged than with Catholic Church. I loved it for a certain time.

Some things I learned whilst going to both churches is that they love money, people gossip and talk about each other all the time. Not even the priest or pastor is innocent as they portray themselves. People judge a lot in the Churches I went to. It made me wonder why were they preaching about things and people was acting so Godly but was doing the same things that they was preached about. I started to believe that majority was just hypocrites. My feelings towards them didn’t just happen but it was a build up from years of observation and questioning. I know there are some good parts about some churches like when they give back, help people, and have programs for the children but the negative part of it turned me off. The bad over weighed the good.

When I was in high school, I stopped going to church and I also stopped believing in God. I guess it was all the overthinking that I was doing about the churches that made me stop believing. Even two years into college, I still didn’t believe in him. However, I now know I shouldn’t have stopped. It wasn’t him but some of the people that believed in him too.

I recently started watching this show called Greenleaf created by Craig Wright, and executive produced by Oprah Winfrey, Lionsgate Television, and Clement Virgo. This show really highlights a lot of reasons that I stopped going to church. It really sheds light on greed, scandal, gossip, and lies that happens in the church. It shows that even the pastor of the Church or deacon is innocent, if anything they are the worst.

I feel when I really grew a connection with God is when I started having private conversations with him and praying alone after my second year of college. I started to pray more. I don’t know why but it starting helping me on an emotional level. I started to really believe that things are meant to be. I use to get mad easily long ago but I feel the more I talked to God and write down my feelings, it helped to stop. Now I rarely get mad and if I do, it have to be something serious. Also, if I feel annoyed sometimes I talk to him.

This wasn’t meant to offend anyone or to talk about anyone church. However, there are some churches that are not genuine. I believe a lot of churches now are just a money making industry. I always wonder why there are churches on so much blocks or next to each other in New York.

I do believe in God. After taking my philosophy class, it made me realize it is okay and nothing is wrong with questioning certain things people say you shouldn’t question. Do not feel guilty for questioning or feeling a certain way. You can have a connection with God without going to church. I do not go to Church and I might change that one day but for now I really do not want to. It is your life, so it’s your choice. Some might disagree you must go to church to gain a connection with God but everyone is entitled to their own belief and opinion.