Ladies, let’s be honest for a second — we’ve all gone out on a date telling ourselves over and

over, thinking a few select thoughts. 

“I will not sleep with him…just to wake up the next morning on his stained navy blue sheets.”

What have I done?

For women, first-date sex isn’t just a decision — it’s a calculation. It’s weighing whether the chemistry is real, if the timing feels right, and if we’re willing to risk the possible side-eye that might come after. And honestly, sometimes holding out feels less about morals and more about strategy — like we’re dangling a carrot just long enough to make sure he calls us back.

I asked 50 women (ages 18–34) how they felt about sleeping with someone on the first date, and 72 percent admitted they had done it at least once. Which, let’s be real, means the other 28 percent just didn’t want to admit it.

Some women felt great about it:

“I felt empowered. I wanted to, so I did. That was enough.”

“It was exciting that I didn’t hold back, but the next day I started second-guessing if he’d still want to see me.”

“I wasn’t ashamed. What I was worried about was whether he’d tell his friends.”

Almost 60 percent said they had no regrets, but a quarter admitted they wished they had waited. Not because of the sex, but because of what followed.

“He never texted again. That’s why I regret it — not the sex, just wasting it on someone who didn’t care.”

And honestly, that’s the part that hurts — not the sex, but realizing you wasted a good outfit, your best thong, and energy on someone who couldn’t even send a two-word text.

When I asked if first-date sex changed how they saw the guy, 68 percent said no.

“If I liked him before, I liked him after.:

“If he was respectful and stayed the night, that made me like him more.”

But 22 percent said it revealed red flags: “If he acted like he got what he wanted, that was it for me.”

“I realized we didn’t have much to talk about outside of the bedroom.”

And a few admitted it actually helped them figure things out faster:

“Sometimes it confirmed that it was just physical and nothing more, which is completely fine.”

Sometimes, first-date sex isn’t a mistake — it’s just a fast way to figure out if he’s actually boyfriend material or just another 2 a.m. ‘wyd’ guy, which we hold dearly in our hearts.

When it came to relationships, 40 percent said first-date sex made them more likely to want to see the guy again — mostly because it confirmed chemistry. “It wasn’t about the sex, it was about the way he treated me after. That told me everything.”

Another 35 percent said it made no difference, while 25 percent reported losing interest.

“It felt too rushed. Like we skipped a chapter we should have read first.”

Sometimes it feels like you skipped the whole ‘getting to know you’ part and now you’re just hoping he even remembers your name. Almost every single woman mentioned stigma — even the ones who swore they didn’t care:

“I hate that I even thought about what he’d think. That’s the part that bothers me.”

“I know guys talk, and I hate that.”

“The shame doesn’t come from me, it comes from wondering if I just made myself ‘less serious’ in his eyes.”

Because nothing kills a good night faster than realizing you just wasted a great morning skinny and thong on someone who didn’t deserve it.

When I asked what women wanted after first-date sex, the answers were beautifully human:

“Respect. Even if we never talk again.”

“A text the next day. It doesn’t have to be romantic, just acknowledgment, you know?”

Some didn’t want acknowledgment. 

“Space. I want to decide if I like him without alcohol.”

And then there was the one that stopped me in my tracks:“I want to know it wasn’t just a transaction. That he saw me as a person, not a conquest.”

That one hit hard, because isn’t that what we all want? To know it wasn’t just another story he tells his friends while we’re at home Googling “how to get your dignity back after sleeping with him too soon.”

For women, first-date sex isn’t just about pleasure — it’s about risk, vulnerability, and the mental gymnastics we do the next morning.

So maybe the real question isn’t whether we regret it. Maybe the real question is this: If one night is all it takes to make us question our worth, maybe it’s not the sex that needs to change — maybe it’s the way we were taught to feel about it.