What is the meaning of life?

No, seriously, what is the meaning of it? For some, it’s living their best life, having a family, and making sure they have a better life than what they had growing up. For some, it’s getting by paycheck to paycheck and wishing they had more, but they could never figure it out. For some, it’s getting a college degree to make their immigrant mother proud to say they “did it”. For some, it’s to live lavishly, and for some, it’s to live comfortably. We all have our own meaning to what we feel life is about. What is it for you? Well, obviously, you can’t answer that question, huh? Well, come find me and let me know because I’m curious. 

For me, I’ve thought long and hard about this question. What really is the meaning of life? I’ve always asked myself this question growing up. I tried to find the meaning of life through sports growing up. I always thought that sports would bring me the happiness I needed in order to live a meaningful life. From a young age, my father got me into sports, and that’s what would occupy my time most days. From waking up at 6 a.m. for practice to filling my weekends up with games and tournaments. I would occupy my whole schedule with sports. I would make it to every practice and I would make sure I was on time. Even if that meant traveling an hour away. I would save up money to get the equipment I wanted even if that meant me not getting the hottest pair of Jordans that were coming out. It’s safe to say I was pretty dedicated. Growing up playing baseball was one of the best years of my life. I forgot to mention that when I meant sports, I meant baseball. That was my thing. I was always one of the biggest kids on my teams but I struggled with the mechanics of the game a lot. It finally came along, and when it did, it made my love for the game that much more enjoyable. In Little League, I was the fastest, I threw the hardest, and I hit the ball the hardest. This all changed as I started getting older.

I always had the size as a kid and the work ethic, but when it was time to perform, I always let my head get to me. Performing in front of a crowd always made me nervous. Especially as a pitcher. I would train my tail off all week, staying up watching videos on mechanics, just to fold under pressure on game day. There were some days when I would be showing out and drawing attention from coaches and parents. As the years went on I had moments that were better than others and I remember beating myself up if I didn’t perform the way I knew how. I was getting looks from small schools here and there, but that all changed during my senior year of high school. I was in my gym, running around, when I took a bad step and heard “pop!” My right knee buckled and I fell to the ground. It was my ACL, completely torn. This was probably the most depressing time of my life. What I thought would bring me the most meaning and happiness in life was taken away from me in one step. Are you kidding me?! I worked my whole life, put in blood, sweat, and tears just for it to be taken away from me in the blink of an eye. Damn. 

I felt like I had nothing else to live for. I felt like my life was over. That’s until I cried out to God one night. At that point, I had nothing to lose. I said, “God, if you’re real, show me a sign because I’m hurting right now.” Not just physically but emotionally. My heart was crying out to God. That’s when he showed me I can find my meaning in him. Not in something that is here today and gone tomorrow, but in him. Something that will last forever. Now that I have found the meaning to my life, I can’t look back. I’ve come too far, and even on the worst days, I want to go back. He holds on to me. He will never let me go.