My brothers, don’t be ashamed to tap into your emotions. 

Growing up, even as little boys, we hear all of the time that if you speak about your feelings or speak about what’s on your mind, you get made fun of or called certain names. Getting degraded from such a young age creates situations in your head that if you talk about your feelings, you have to face the “consequences” of that, so it turns you off completely. You start putting yourself in “what if” scenarios and you can end up driving yourself crazy thinking about all of the possible outcomes. You hear from young that talking about your emotions and what your feelings are for the weak or those who aren’t real men. This leads to bottling up emotions for years until you finally let it out. An outburst that probably wasn’t intended for the right person or even a person who didn’t deserve it. You end up hurting or pushing someone away who was meant to love on you and help you through what you’re going through. The people who were sent to help you emotionally end up being your worst enemy because you feel like you don’t need them. 

June is Men’s Mental Health Month, and I feel like it needs more advocacy. Often, we turn to things we think will help us cope with our situation, but they only end up making it worse. Alcohol, drugs, sex, etc., are all temporary fixes, but as soon as you come back down from that high, it’s right back to normal. It doesn’t end up anywhere beneficial, but instead it ends up in a more depressive state. Men’s mental health leads to suicide, and I personally know men who have taken their own lives because they felt like they couldn’t do life anymore. Having no option or feeling like suicide have been thoughts that have run across my mind throughout the years, and would have been prevented if I had been taught the right things from a young age. Having been instilled in a boy from a young age is far greater than we know. Having a boy feel safe talking about his emotions can have a profound impact on the course of his whole life. 

Talking about your emotions as a man is so significant. And I’m not even talking about going to a therapist. I mean, you can if that’s what works for you, but I’m talking about finding therapy within your family and people who you hold close to you. Talking to someone whom you trust can make a whole difference in your life. I lost a few friends this year and I definitely battled many different thoughts throughout this year and people always told me to consider going to an actual therapist but I never had the desire to. In my head, going to someone who gets paid to do what they do just doesn’t sit right with me. I often think to myself, “If this person wasn’t getting paid to do what they do, would they still listen to me?” Then again, I may never know because I will probably never end up going to therapy. But if it works for you, then all power to you. Over the years, I bottled up my emotions, and when I started expressing them, even if it was to a few people, it was a game-changer for me. At my best friend’s candle-lighting this April, some friends who didn’t even know him came to support him. Seeing that and being able to share and express moments with them, like they knew him, made me feel appreciated. It made me feel like I could talk about anything without feeling a certain way about it. 

Allowing men to feel safe while expressing their emotions needs to be the norm. Men go through as much as women do if not more and we still can’t feel safe while sharing our emotions. To all my men out there going through something, you are worth it. You amount to something and you mean something to the people who love you. Never forget that you are strong enough and God is on your side. You are loved