5 Things That Suck About Snow in New York
February 13, 2014
We, New Yorkers often lament on the terribleness of snow. It is evil incarnate. Why you may ask well the answer is simple while snow is pretty for about a day it takes about a week to recover from even a few inches. Depending on the way your street is cleaned or the temperatures following even a coating we then have to deal with snow banks, ice and the awful cycle of melting and then refreezing. Here however are the 5 things that truly suck about snow in New York.
1. False Beauty
I will not lie there is something magical about snow especially in New York City. The gray expanses of concrete covered in snow has a charm all its own.
Unfortunately this:
Eventually becomes this:
2. Potholes.
No, this is not the surface of the moon but Route 25A in Long Island. Now what exactly do potholes have to do with snow? Here’s the breakdown (literally): The sodium chloride used to treat the roads and melt snow and ice also eats away at the blacktop on the roads. The weakened blacktop then gets smashed into by the dropping and scraping of the plow and that forms potholes. Now this is all fine well and good until you have to change a tire on the side of the road while it is pitch black out.
3. Mass Panic before the Snow
Entering a supermarket before a snow storm is a bit like deciding to run with the bulls in Pamplona. You enter knowing the dangers and risks but you do it anyway because you feel you must. So as you fight, bite and claw your way to the last case of bottled water and the nearest checkout line, congratulate yourself you survived the pre-storm.
4. Shoveling
Shoveling snow much like going to the supermarket is a necessary evil. Yet shoveling is as dangerous as driving in a blizzard. When one shovels you run the risk of falling, back pain, blisters, splinters (depending on the handle of your shovel) and the horrifying realization that you need to hit the gym HARD.
5. Other People
As I write this I am watching my neighbor take all the snow off of his car and throw it into my freshly cleaned driveway therefore blocking any escape from this miserable place. Now it is not just people like my neighbor but what about schools that refuse to close when there is essentially a blizzard taking place (I am talking to you Mayor De Blasio) or offices that must stay open because god forbid someone get the voicemail. Then when we decide to remain safely in our homes we are made to feel bad for missing class or work by others with their downright puritan work ethics. This is why other people make snow unbearable.
Enjoy your snow day or not.