Peter Pan, a beloved Disney character, is a creepy sinister pedophile. While a small child, I embraced all things Disney, and was excited at the thought of watching the films.  Then I grew up and realized that most things Disney are a little bit sadistic. While there are villains in almost all Disney films, the real villain in this film is Peter. Captain Hook is comes out smelling like roses.

The beginning of the film starts out with the idea of a “shadow figure” sneaking into the children’s room to play and whisk them off to a land of adventure. Peter is the other part to that shadow, breaking and entering into a room full of children to steal them from their parents. And to think when I was little, I would hope for that to happen to me. No wonder my mother was always so big on ‘Stranger Danger’. I have found myself thinking that maybe in an alternate universe this was okay, until I remembered that kidnapping and breaking and entering are actual crimes that terrify all.

And then there is the matter of him using Angel Dust, excuse me, Fairy Dust to help children fly. I believe Peter Pan has a drug problem, and succumbs small impressionable children to his party drugs. Not only is he in possession of these fairy narcotics, but he also distributes them to all children he steals away in the middle of the night.  The idea of fairy dust is a sweet idea when you are young, but as you get older and start, experimenting with things, you begin to realize the connections. He also, throws the fairy dust on the children with no warning, even if they didn’t want it. It is peer pressure, a trait children are not supposed to succumb to.

Peter attempts to abduct the children, and keep them in Neverland forever. I am not a detective, but I have seen enough Lifetime Women’s films to know that Neverland is code for the basement your abductor will keep you in forever and do weird, freaky things to you. I do, however, know that there is no limitation to Peter Pan’s age which makes this even worse for his case. Peter Pan growing up in Neverland prevented him from getting old, which in turn, kept him as a young boy for God knows how long. It may have fooled me when I was little, but now I understand that Peter Pan could potentially be a 60 year old man kidnapping children.

There is also the small fact that he attempted to murder Captain James Hook. As an adult, Hook realizes that Peter Pan is not only a human impossibility, but he also is a threat to all normal adults.  Hook wants Pan dead, and how could you blame him? His constant back and forth with Pan leads to a daring sword fight in the end, causing Peter Pan to attempt a stabbing. Since it is a cartoon, Hook has reflexes and an extremely flexible stomach, allowing him to suck in his belly to avoid a stabbing. Peter Pan is an attempted murderer who should be read his Miranda Rights.

In the end, Peter returns the children home after a drug-induced kidnapping. I do wish to impress upon all those reading, the severity of young children’s minds and how we must shape and mold them properly. But I watched Peter Pan as a child, and I turned out okay.