I’ve noticed the purpose of my column has changed

I originally wanted my column to center around women’s empowerment but now, I’ve noticed it’s taken the form of my personal diary. Sincerely, K is filled with late-night thoughts that I would occasionally share with others, but I have noticed since writing my thoughts out, whether that be in my physical journal or now my online one, processing these thoughts has been easier.

As cliche as it sounds, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

And now I am presented with a new fear, more so curiosity if anything, now that my time writing for The Impact is near the end, what will my next outlet be for these thoughts?

Apart of me feels a bit hypocritical as I have been preaching about the benefits of physically journaling to others, but I feel like that is a good starting point. Truth be told, there were many times when I’ve attempted to journal and couldn’t bring myself to fill the page and when I was able to, it felt forced.

I moved from pushing myself to journal every single day to grabbing my notebook whenever I felt my energy being off. I prefer my latter relationship with journaling verse the one I had before.

My journey with journaling (try saying that 5 times fast) started in high school. I was a normal angsty teen and felt like the world was against me and of course, felt I was misunderstood by everyone. My aunt suggested journaling and I’ve been hooked on it ever since.

I also feel this is where my obsession for notebooks came from.

When you get a new notebook, what do you do with it? Write in it of course. I, on the other hand, sometimes cannot bring myself to “ruin” a notebook. I have journals upon journals piled up in my closet, around my room, that have barely any writing in them.

With its wordy title, a Reddit user takes the words right out of my mouth with their post, “I end up collecting notebooks but never use them because I feel like what I want to write isn’t “important” enough. Did any of you ever feel this way? How did you get over it?”

I loved reading through this thread, and I loved that someone decided to share this experience that, possibly, so many go through, even if the post was created 6 years ago.

“Writing in a notebook doesn’t ruin it. Writing gives it character. Otherwise, it’s just blank paper in a pretty binding. It’s the writing or drawing, or doodling that’s important” commented a user on the thread.

My thoughts and ideas never felt worthy in a nicely designed book whereas I have no problem with scribbling in a standard composition notebook. But this user is right. Regardless of the casing, the real art is what is written on the pages. Why reject the purpose of a journal?

To make room and even break myself from this, I am challenging myself to finish at least one journal from my existing collection every year (got to start off small).

However, I do not see physically journaling being my end all be all.

I am at a point where I don’t mind sharing with the world the things I have to say. I think back to previous columns I’ve written such as Hello Red Tuesday, and Fear of Success? and wonder if they were impactful for someone.

When I took junior seminar, I was taught by journalist Amber Snider who opened my eyes to the possibilities in writing. If it wasn’t for her, I would have never thought I had a chance in journalism. I’m writing this with a smile on my face as I look back at an email exchange between Snider and I where she gave me clarification on figuring out a niche in this field.

I can’t exactly pinpoint what my niche is with this column, all I can confidently say is it has transformed into an online journal if anything.

And I feel that is the direction this column should take. I always toyed with the idea of creating a blog and the idea of it didn’t form until my junior seminar class. Creating an e-portfolio for the class with the purpose of showcasing our proudest work and displaying our research assignment opened my eyes to blogging.

I remember asking my roommate for her opinion on potential blog name ideas and Sincerely, K was a top contender. Though I haven’t completely gone the blog route yet, it’s heartwarming to see the name being printed in the school newspaper.

Sincerely, K isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It would be a disservice to myself if I let my dream from junior year dissolve for no solid reason. When will it happen? I have no idea, but I will be having a lot more free time once I receive my diploma in May. I’m excited!