I shouldn’t complain because I had my base needs met and had time on my hands to do anything. Do you think I had made a deal with the devil to have a semi-celebrity life to have an artificial immorality?

To be fair I can be pretty annoying, demanding lots of attention and they have their lives and do stuff.

I am known as the man out of time but a better title for me is observer. 

Things are just at a standstill from my point of view while for others they are frantically running around getting their act together.

It may sound like a load of rubbish coming from me who is privileged with plenty of time and resources but there is one thing I can’t buy. 

My friends, as many as I have online I can’t help but feel like Gatsby. I just feel so detached not because of not knowing the struggles but because everyone else not being around to have fun as I hear their sob stories or know of their terrible condition.

Needing money for rent, wanting to buy a gift, having a crisis. I am here as the stress doll and free therapist.

Over the years bottling up my emotions and their misery became my own putting gunk on my gears and making me perform self-diagnosis trying to clean them up. I usually get most out as an alcoholic trying to get sober.

Hey, I have the built-in power urge, I a bit of punch and ammunition in my bag of tricks so I try to help when I can and even put myself to service and try to share in my prosperity while I can but that was before. Now I am getting hungry because they put their desire in me to get closer.

Occasionally my mind begins to question unable to tell friends from foe to somebody who just hangs around for money after doing a commission. I like to befriend the people I work with. I built up being a loyal customer, sad thing I don’t get a discount or bonus. I get the same as before but I get a digital headpat.

It had gotten so bad, that I could feel my pounding heart like it was to the tune “Friend on the other side” and my mind overanalyzed every move they made.

Occasionally I have them test their loyalty a bit, like I get a sense of betrayal or jealousy.

Don’t get me wrong I know who has more BBF status than just an ally in my social network.

Freak someone fixed my dead laptop out of the kindness of their heart and my BFF gave me the tool to start up a new hobby to get closer. But the more I learn, and get obsessed with wanting more to stay in touch.

I bought Zelda Breath of the Wild and was later given Tear of the Kingdom by my Best friend. Now I want P.C. so I can play with my friend online since my current device is below sub pare like how a family member wants to buy a plane ticket to see a family member.

My family members don’t know how to play a video game, and don’t want to bite the hand that gave me a nice thing. Especially when it is too much.

I pretended often and lowered my IQ not with friends but with them. I could win an Oscar and in my speech, I would act oblivious that I can seem like Cat Valentine. People sometimes like that I am double as a sack of potatoes, which saves me a headache.

I might know better but does that mean I should be the heard of perfection? Oh wait I am their childish angel who is a genie making every wish come true.

The answer is you can make a friend outside come up and I just stand there insulted because there is nobody around. I see pictures of tumbleweeds gathering faster. All my interests are niches nobody wants to admit playing or open much.

If they do they are either younger, older than me, or in a different country. The last time I had a friend near my age I had faith in was in high school. College it feel like things are a revolving door.

I know I might sound like a psychopath activity or enlightened monk. Just appreciate your time with others every single moment.

True friendship is supposed to help people grow, but I know my parasitic ways.

Keep your friends and enemies close, I am bummed that I have no enemies left because they vanish to the Shadow Realm of time, and my friends are too busy or just doing a “National No Spongebob Day on me.”

I used to say au revoir, Now I say I bid Audie.