Growing up, you think the world of your parents. For girls their dad is always their first love. When I was little I always thought my dad could do no wrong. That man was truly the apple of my eye. I couldn’t go to bed if he wasn’t home and he couldn’t leave the house without me. I was the true definition of a daddy’s girl. Then as I got older things changed. My parents split when I was 9 and that’s when I started to notice little things. My dad would only come around when he felt like it.

He would tell me he was coming and not show up… No call, No text, Nothing. I would sit in my room and cry. By the age of 10 I now had a sibling. That’s right my dad miraculously had a baby. I now had a brother. I wasn’t used to that at all. Not only would I have to share my dad but I had to bond with this child I never knew was coming into existence. I was not for this at all.

I eventually got used to having a little brother and I liked it well him. I started noticing how my dad would act towards me once my brother was born. If I needed something I now came second. It just wasn’t fair. He was good with managing both of us until my brother got to be about six months. He just forgot all about me. Things changed and I changed. I was over it completely so I just kept to myself. I learned you can’t make someone do something. They have to do it on their own. I look at my friends relationships with their dad and I do envy it at times. I often have to pick my mother up and let her know she does a great job when it comes to me. I thank her every day for always being there.

There are a lot of moms out there that play both roles. My mom is a prime example of that. I sit and think about how things would be if my dad was more involved. I don’t need a part-time parent. I tell myself all the time I am not the problem and that I’m good without him. Although I wish he was around and was a better father, I can’t force him to be here if he doesn’t want to be. I learned over time that I can wish all I want to but I can’t make it happen. As we get older we learn to make do with the hand we’ve been dealt. I still  turned out to be a great kid, as my mother would say. You can’t let your hardships break you.Although my father isn’t involved, I have a lot of great people who helped mold me into the person I am today. I am very thankful for them as well  they have often helped me through my toughest times.