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“Even after all these years, I’m still a sex god!” – Barry Manilow.

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There is a stark contrast between knowing oneself and presenting oneself.

Knowing oneself is based on reality— people fully embrace who they are. Presenting oneself is when people may suppress their true identity. Fear of abandonment and toxic shame may cause people to hide their true selves to please others.

For years, I pretended to be Clark Kent, a hero who disguises his identity through eyeglasses. Yet, what I used as a mask overtly gave my identity away to the prudent.

It was time Superman wore contact lenses.

I’ve wanted to wear contacts for a while, though I was squeamish about touching my eyes. I was highly touch-sensitive as a child. Wearing watches and putting things in my pockets were forbidden practices. I embraced the unknown over time. Yet, this faulty paradigm from childhood has nagged at adulthood to an extent.

Eyeglasses appealed to me because they were more manageable. I didn’t have to worry or face my fear of sensitivity. I could put those bifocals on in two seconds, and voila! I could see clearly.

Yet, I didn’t like the man staring at me in the mirror. He was complacent. He was settling.

It was fear that led me to live a lie. But it was also the courage to confront that fear that set me on the path to reality.

“Nothing’s going to get better unless you change something,” I told myself. “You must let go of what you have to get what you want. What are the steps you can take to honor this goal?”

The only logical solution was to be proactive—start touching my eyes.

I trusted my intuition initially, being guided by what was most comfortable. I washed my hands with soap in water, stared at myself in the bathroom mirror, and tried to gently touch the white part of my eye closest to my nose. I didn’t want to put too much pressure on my eyes. Just a gentle tap.

But the more my finger approached my pupil, the more I hesitated.

“I need a point of no return,” I said. “Something where I can never go back to my former lifestyle.”

So, I drove to my eye doctor’s office to schedule a routine checkup.

Nothing was abnormal during the appointment. Things changed when my doctor found out I wanted to implement contacts.

“So, I hear you want to wear contacts,” he said. “That’s good. We’ll schedule another appointment next week for you to meet Matt, our contact specialist.”

History was made. There was no going back. I had to face my fears. I had to be accountable. If I’m making the appointment, I’m making the appointment. Otherwise, I’d have to call the office to cancel. And I wouldn’t be true to myself. I’d be chickening out.

I scheduled the appointment. Going back was not an option.

Matt provided me with a contact video. I watched it and went back to my initial starting point.

Sure, the idea of wearing contacts was unnerving, though the appeal of seeing myself in the mirror without glasses was provoking. Maybe I’m not totally against being reactive. Sometimes, I need the push to callus my mind. And that’s okay.

I touched my left eye. It felt weird. Yet, fear proved to be more of a lie than fact.

“Hmmm. It’s not so bad after all,” I said.

I was able to touch each eyeball once. The next day, I touched them twice. I was a pro when I met Matt for the following appointment. And though I was unsuccessful in putting on the trials throughout the session, I got them in and out by the 20th attempt.

Presently, I can plop those suckers in within less than a minute.

I don’t think I give myself the credit I deserve for such a victory. The overwhelming sense of accomplishment I felt when I put those contacts in unaided for the first time was a powerful reminder that I can overcome any struggle and emerge stronger with determination.

What will the next hurdle be—more strenuous than this one—that I’ll be able to overcome?!

Now, I enjoy the harmony of being myself and presenting myself because they’re both aligned. Wearing contacts allows others to see the real me—hidden for so long—and enables me to tap into the energy that has refueled my self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-acceptance.

Surprisingly, this energy has been effective in persuading my friend, Justin, to try out contact lenses. And what’s fascinating is that there wasn’t any effort on my part to convince him. It all happened naturally.

I love the man I see in the mirror more than ever. He’s not just a reflection but a testament to the power of self-acceptance and the joy and sexiness it brings.

By embracing our fears, we can truly enjoy life to its fullest.

I genuinely am myself.