Black women get the bitter end of the stick when it comes to relationships and men. Or at least that is how social media platforms portray them as being. We see it between both men and female rappers and A-list celebrities to the point where liking a black woman, and coming off as not meaning it is the world we live in today. 

The main question I wonder when browsing social media is why black women are seen and put themselves in a negative light?

From accepting the fact, they are okay with being the side chick to being jealous of other women, especially when it comes to men. For instance, the altercation with Meghan Thee Stallion, Tory Lanez and Kylie Jenner. The media portrayed the two women fighting over the rapper, making him seem like he was the most desirable one in the situation. Whether this may have been the case or not, reactors hyped the situation up even more with picking sides ,and starting rumors, but forget that black women still go above and beyond for the black male.

This gives into the trope of black men being more desirable to want a date than black women, as black women are the trendsetters just as much as black men. It is the black women that make white women want what they have.

The outcome of the situation was Megan Thee Stallion being shot in the foot and suffering from bodies of metal being in her foot today as a result.

At what cost do some black men enjoy seeing black women struggle even in the odds having the purest intentions towards them?

Now the other question is who is more desirable and undesirable between black men and women?

Society wants to make us feel as if this is a question when in reality we don’t have to choose, but simply have to realize that society wants to make us feel like we have to choose.

It’s one or the other.

Celebrity relationships such as Chrisean Rock and Blueface’s is known to be nothing but toxic. As altercations between them have come and continue to come to light whether on social media or in news outlets. They are teaching viewers and fans that may be too young to understand how toxic their relationship actually is the way love is supposed to be as it is false.

Fans and celebrity entourages have mixed reactions when it comes to the types of relationships and altercations rappers and celebrities have including beef. I feel like beef is handled differently between black and white artists. I say this because of the beef everyone thought took place between Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber.

Where most people’s assumptions were just thoughts and nothing more when it turned out to be false. In the black community, you know there is beef and as a result mixtapes are made just as much as shade being thrown. It doesn’t matter if it’s between men or women; it is entertainment for the majority of their fans. I feel like most celebrities forget that they are being watched by people who think of them as role models, but at the same time part of me feels as if they thrive and enjoy the attention they receive, and don’t care who’s watching. 

Liking a black woman and being proud to do so, but falling back on that belief and your word when you come out as dating the opposite race, can put a bad taste in most black women’s mouths. Jack Harlow aka the man who claimed to love black women, or in this case past tense on the word love, is pronounced to be dating British singer Dua Lipa. I can imagine how many African American women who read the news of the rapper and the ‘Levitating’ singer to be dating ,and the confusion that is surrounding their heads along with the mixed emotions. Did he say he likes African-American women for clout, and pretend as if he did? Or did he want to switch up and shock his fans by waking up in the morning and choosing violence? Just when African American women were getting used to a white man and rapper being proud to admit to liking black women, now it really makes them think if it was all a lie. All the hours of looking at Tik-Tok of interactions between him and rapper Saweetie can be looked at as a waste of time and a result of hopes getting too high. As an African American woman myself and to my fellow black woman we should have seen this coming and saved ourselves the heartbreak along with coming off as if we are hard if not easy for someone that is interested in seeking a relationship with us. 

        On the other hand, black women towards each other in social media are portrayed as negative with traits such as jealousy, hatred, signs of disloyalty, and fakeness. For instance, the “Cabo Six” who allegedly planned to kill their “friend” Shanquella Robinson, who was a successful business owner from North Carolina. 

          Another question that I have for the black community is why do we hate each other or look and come off as if we do? To answer this question, some would say it started way back then with slavery where light skins got to stay in the house and darker complexions worked in the field. This is the start to another conversation that I believe that most people are not ready for. The power black people have on social media, music, and in life is more powerful than we tend to realize because we are trendsetters and other races of people take what we put down and claim it as their own. We don’t realize the impact we make on people that are not African-American. Most non-African American people copy what we do through actions and behaviors. When we notice this and question their behaviors we do not see it as a way to reflect and work on ourselves, but instead take the first opportunity we have to judge them. The movement Black Lives Matter is powerful as well, not just in regards to life, but the cycle of our creativity, beauty and ideas to be acknowledged and stolen from. Without us the world would struggle as people throw rocks at things that shine. This sad truth makes me realize what it would be like if there was a world hidden in plain sight similar to the fictional world of Wakanda. The birthplace of Black Panther where we wouldn’t have to live in fear due to police brutality and racists, but a place that is safe with access to who gets to enter and who doesn’t.

Maybe most of our problems would be solved, maybe not.