I want to give up, but I can’t!

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I want to give up, but I can’t!

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This year is been one of the toughest one for me. I’ve learned a lot, I’ve learned many things that I wish I knew before. Going from Psychology to Media studies was the best decision I made.
Before I transferred to Mercy, I went to a media study teacher in my old school. I told him that I was a liberal art student and that I wanted to change my major to media studies. He told me to wait until I transfered since I was going to finish soon my associate’s degree.
Once I came to the open house at Mercy, during summer, I didn’t have the opportunity to go to the TV or radio studio. I think that was a mistake because a week before classes, I changed my major back to psychology to become a teacher.
I enjoyed my psychology semester a lot, it was interesting, and I learned a ton of new information about our brain and some mental illness. However, I took classes in the Bronx extension and right next to it was the TV studio for the local station Bronx Net.

Every time I used to pass by this station, I wanted to go ask for an internship. But how ridiculous would’ve been, I was a psychology student and I wanted to ask for an internship in a tv studio??
I got good grades on my psychology classes but three weeks before my semester was over, my boss decided to let me go because he needed someone with “more time.” He didn’t give me a two-week notice, he just decided to let me go the same day he decided to talk to me.

I was mad but at the same time I was happy. However, I needed money to keep helping my husband with the bills and expenses. I was desperate and I was thinking that the best option was to take a break from school since I was not able to pay my portion of the college bill.
I talked to my professor of psychology and told him about my situation and that I was going to stop with school. He recommended me to keep going. Even if I had to take a loan, it was going to be worth it.
He told me that money spend in education – it is never a bad investment. So, I talked to my husband and let him know that I was going to stay in school.
He was worried at the beginning, but he supported me. However, he told me to go for what I was passionate about it. He said “If you are going to get loans and have debts at the end, then you better go for your love of  TV.” He knew that I’ve always been interested in the media jobs.

I took the risk and change my major all over again. I thought it was going to be difficult and sometimes it is, but my first semester I took TV classes and I fall in love with the TV environment.
This is my third semester and how I said is being one of the toughest. Why? Because this semester I learned to use a radio board, edit video and challenge myself on writing for the college newspaper.
There have been days where I only see my daughters only for a couple of hours before they go to their bed time. And I said to myself, “Am I missing time with them or am I getting ready to enjoy them later?” I try to keep myself strong but sometimes I do want to quit everything and just have a regular job such as a secretary. But what about my dreams? How can I prove to my daughters that is possible to accomplish everything you desire? And that’s when I keep going and fighter for my dreams and a to make my love ones proud of me.
Is never easy and it might never will be, but I have hope that one day I would be able to enjoy my future career. I have hope that I’m creating a better future for my daughters with better opportunities of which I have. I have hope that I would be able to take at least one vacation a year to go travel and enjoy the wonders of nature and every country I want to visit.