Why It’s OK To Have An Identity Crisis Once in a While


Millennials and 20 something’s – everyone has something to say in telling us how to live our lives. Apparently we’re uninformed, addicted to technology, self-absorbed and drowning in student loans. While the latter might be true, does anyone really know anything about us, and how we find purpose in our life?  Isn’t it our predecessor’s fault that were in this much debt?

Regardless of your age, you can have an identity crisis. Whether it’s at 18 years old, 21, a quarter-life crisis, every Tuesday morning, or whenever the pitfalls of life are tugging on you. Sometimes you feel like you’re not who you think you are, even if you knew what that was.

Imposter syndrome is a term coined by clinical psychologists, which means the denial of one’s successes despite indications of success.

In defining success, we can think very broad. Success can be the metric for the evolution of precious human relationships, achievements in your career or milestones in your life like moving, getting a new job, and things that make you feel like you’re growing up even though the current day excuse for that is “adulting.” The bad habit that accompanies this, is not believing in yourself and that these results aren’t your produce, and that’s why it’s important to be self aware and understand and trust our capabilities.

It’s simple to feel like one day you’ll be found out, that you don’t have all of the tools in the kit that is our brain and heart. Trust within oneself is the marriage of intelligence and integrity.

If you didn’t question who you are and what you perceive to be true, would you ever be progressing your thought process? It’s ok to question your actions and your path, but there needs to be a supplementary self support component that reminds yourself to appreciate the flaws and fact that everything that has happened to you is an ingredient (Malcolm X) and has put you exactly where you’re supposed to be. By no means does that mean be complacent, but always strive to be your best self and accept every version of yourself because it’s always changing.

Could it actually be a positive attribute to feel like you are nit picking the person you are becoming?

Picky eaters bother me, but for some reason or rhyme I think its okay to be picky about your individualistic tendencies. To take it even further, it’s ok to change them.

Allow me to repeat myself: change can be beautiful, like the metamorphosis of a butterfly.

If a politician even contemplates changing sides on a platform, the mass response would be questioning their authenticity and knowledge of a particular issues. They’re too flip floppy or can’t seem to decide and are changing for lack of knowledge about their constituents. On the same token, it could represent growth and acceptance of new ideas or messages that you were not tolerant of before.

Change makes people uncomfortable and might even make you uncomfortable; you just have to stay authentic to who you are. To struggle with your identity, is to explore different aspects of yourself without settling for the characteristics that have been grandfathered in or are maybe a part of your genetic makeup.

Once in a while I’ll wake up, wondering what I’m doing here how will I get through the day when people are asking me about my experiences or achievements because am I really that person…the accounting major with plans to work at the big four firm? Or am I just a fraud? Some days I accept and some days I challenge. Either way, it has been a great life thus far with all of the traveling, friends and family, and beautiful existence on this earth. Its just that sometimes I feel like it all sounds like a really good story, just one that isn’t quite mine.

I say all of this and the term identity crisis in a slightly light hearted way because I don’t think its earth shattering stuff – just a cyclical feeling that is a part of growing up, similar to happiness or energy, in the way that all emotions come, go and need to be circled through.

It’s important to critically think about the way you’re feeling, and come to a resolution so that you can cultivate the path that you want, and continuously work to maintain it or change it in some parts. When we are younger, who our parents are becomes who we are. And the closest surrounding to us is everything we accept and makes it easier.

As a college student, you’ll realize there are so many options, cultures, products, and paths to take in the world and that there is no correct one since everyone is different.

The more we disrupt our norms and struggle with ourselves, even our character and appearance, the closer we get to finding out the true answer, the stimulus that keeps us going, whatever direction that may be. It’s proven that everyone’s genetic make up is different – twins maybe, maybe not.

If we look at the overall harmony of the human race, we realize that everyone’s DNA could be translated into a song. They would all be beautifully different.