Dear 30 year old me


Thinking about where I’ll be in ten years is terrifying yet exciting.  Slightly more terrifying than exciting, but nonetheless, exciting.

When thinking about 30-year-olds now, I picture people who are independent, know what they’re doing and have fully figured out how to do this so called “adult thing.” But then again, I used to think of 20-year-olds as adults. Do we figure it out overtime or we fake it until one day everything clicks and make sense? Or am I still confused and simply just winging it?

So this is a letter to my 30-year-old self. I hope to remember to read this in 10 years:

First of all, I hope you have a happy life. I have always feared not enjoying life and spending my time waiting for the weekend. I hope you worked hard and have a job you can enjoy and be proud of. My biggest motivation has always been to have a successful career in doing what I love, so I hope you never settle for something less risky or whatever job you could get just to make an income. I hope you’re still in love with audio and the magic of it. I hope you still genuinely enjoy what you do and are learning something new every time. I hope your name is somewhere in the credits of movies or tv shows and that makes you feel proud and complete. At this point, I can’t imagine what success feels like, but I’m hoping you do.

I hope you’re happily married to your best friend and have a healthy and happy relationship. I hope the magic doesn’t die after a few years and that you still feel like a hopeless, romantic teenager from time to time. How does it feel to be a wife? Is it weird to wake up next to the same face everyday? Did I learn how to compromise? I could never really picture how those things worked, but I’m hoping you have it all figured out by now.

Are you a mom now? Do you still think babies are cute? Whenever it happens, I hope it was your decision and that it didn’t get in the way of any other goals.

I hope you’re still ambitious and driven. I hope you still don’t want to settle and instead always strive for more. I like to believe that I can be great at what I do and won’t settle for whatever is easier. It would be nice to look back and realize I wasn’t just being young and naive. Although life just happens, I hope I don’t forget what I fell in love with when I was young that inspired me to have a somewhat odd career.

I hope the world is a little better, or at least that it didn’t get worse. Although I have been lucky enough to live a good and happy life, there are a lot of problems with the world right now. Climate change, politics, war, and hunger not only worry me, but make me wonder whether something can be fixed or if things are bound to only get worse. I like to be hopeful and think that when I have kids one day, I can bring them into a world that is a little bit brighter than what it currently is now.

I hope you learn how to keep friendships in your life despite the distance. Who are your friends now? I wonder what wonderful and horrible people I will encounter in the next few years. It’s hard to picture new people coming into my life at this point, but I hope I always appreciate people that don’t stay forever while doing my best to keep those whom I love in my life.

Lastly, when life catches up and loses it’s magic, look back and remember what it felt like to be 20. I’m graduating college this year feeling hopeful, ambitious and most importantly, happy. I hope that despite where life takes me, and whatever happens through the years, you still feel the same. I hope you feel proud of what you’ve accomplished and excited for what’s to come. I hope life continues to get better every year. I hope I’m wiser, more understanding and more patient than now.

I hope despite it all, I’m still a hopeless romantic and optimistic 20-year-old deep down inside.