1. The Wendy’s Baconator.

I am not much of a believer in saving the best for last. This creative burger, introduced in 2007, was a life changer. This is my personal favorite burger. Some people try to act like they like it as much as me. A message to all: you are not on my level. I have known about this burger since its release, and have been eating it since age 12. Most of you may not have even heard of it until they redistributed the commercial in 2012. By then, I was a 5 year veteran in Baconator-ology. I repeat: you are not on my level.

2. The Burger King Italian Original Chicken Sandwich.

We need to speak. This has been something that was on and off their menu for a long time. Where it went when I needed it is beyond me, but when it was back, I had my ways of finding out. While I personally love the sauce and chicken itself, this is number two because of the lack of bacon (which, admittedly, does not even fit here), its decreased availability, and its smaller size overall. I don’t know when some evil villain decided to hit everything on Burger King’s menu with a minimizing ray gun, but they need to be put to a stop.
3. Pretty much any chicken nuggets

Basically, chicken nuggets are life.
4. The McDonald’s Quarter Pounder

This right here… needs no introduction. I work near a McDonald’s, so guess what I get on pretty much any lunch break? Not a salad. They even let you add bacon. This is a reliable option, and is very filling. I will say that I request the onions to be removed, but that’s personal preference.
5. Denny’s Grand Slamwich

Yup. Breakfast made the list. I didn’t hear about this thing until last year. For that I am sorry. When my family and I go to Florida, which is rare because we don’t like each other, we go to Denny’s on the last day before we catch the flight home. I tried this thing here… it has sausage, cheese, eggs, cheese, ham, and cheese on toasted bread. Somehow it didn’t feel like an overload of cheese, which is strange, because too much cheese actually ruins things for me.

I feel bad for vegetarians on occasion. Then I remember it’s their own damn fault. A lot of them just don’t like the taste of meat. That stresses me out. Some of them just do it to save a few animals. That’s commendable. But it stresses me out. Then there is that particular group of self-righteous people who fail to admit their own self-righteousness. These are the vegetarians who have only made this anti meat conversion to seem better than everyone else by comparison. If you are a vegetarian who happens to be reading this, you know who you are. You’re arguing with me right now. “Self-righteous?” “That’s not me!” “I don’t do that!”…
Yeah you do.