I’ve always been different. I was always the odd one growing up. I was the black girl who listened to rock and hated r&b. I was the girl who spoke well in an urban neighborhood.

My college experience has been no different. I remember when I first set foot on the Mercy campus and I had dreams of living on my own and away from my family. Sadly… That didn’t happen. I commuted for my first year and hoped that something would fall through so that I could get that college life I so badly wanted.

But no,

I’ve spent 4 1/2 almost 5 years on this campus and I commuted the entire time. And for part of this time I had been split between Manhattan and Dobbs, sometimes attending classes on both campuses in one day. There was even a period of time where I would spend about $100 a week on traveling just alone. I would get myself to school and I wouldn’t eat because I couldn’t afford it. Because I commuted, making friends was hard as well and I practically didn’t have a life on campus besides attending my classes. I’d come to school, study, go to class and then go back home.

College had been rough for me. Really rough.

I didn’t get to go to the parties, I didn’t get to decorate a dorm room, deal with noisy neighbors or join a sorority (Mercy needs some serious Greek life, btw).

My college career had been paired with many of the biggest events in my young adult life. I’ve fallen in love, fallen out of love and even have had a battle with depression and body issues. Mercy college has seen every facet of my character and now that I’m finally leaving here. I almost feel like I’m leaving behind a part of my soul.

Although I’m no longer the girl I once was and I’m leaving here a changed woman. Mercy has helped me and acted as a buffer for me to figure myself out and sort of go through the motions.

I’ve struggled to say the least and to leave behind these hallowed halls, I feel hopeful and a bit scared.

Hopeful in the sense that I can confidently walk into a new a chapter of my life but scared because like what actually happens after college?

Adulting? Yikes.

Now I have friends here, some really good ones I might add. I have a semi-life here on campus. I spend a bulk of my time in the journalism lab but I digress.

Anyways, I look forward to attending class here for the last time. I will finally, finally be free. I will have my monogramed piece of paper and a huge amount of debt but I did it.

I went to school, I finished (or will be finishing,rather) and although the experience was a not ideal. I’m still here and I’m stronger than ever.

I made it.