As I write this, Graduation is only 70 days away.

If everything goes according to plan, in a few short months, my journey at Mercy will be over.

Graduation is more than just taking the next step — it means I need to say goodbye. Mercy will soon be in my back window and I must look forward.

I’m just not sure if I’m ready yet.

Following one of the most difficult years of my life, Mercy became my home in 2015; I didn’t think I would ever make it to college, let alone excel, or even graduate. But once I came here, I realized that this wasn’t the case. I could succeed.

I threw my whole self into school and took like a duck to water. Without realizing, I had melted into the community of Mercy and it became a massive part of my life. I lived on campus; I got involved with campus life and met some incredible people along the way. I took classes that changed my life and helped me find my calling of English.

Saying goodbye to the place I’ve grown and learned for the last four years have been so difficult. I don’t know where to start. The semester is almost halfway over; the weeks just keep flying away.

Four entire years have passed me by in what has felt like the blink of an eye. It seems like only yesterday did I start my first classes at Mercy. I can remember my first day in vivid detail, from stumbling out of my bed at 6:00 in the morning, crawling out to the hotel shuttle, finding my first class, meeting my first professor, sitting through my first three-hour lecture, leaving when it was finished to head back to the hotel for a fast lunch, and then studying. It was so much to take in.

Looking back, I realize how much I have grown to be capable of since I was a freshman. When I started at school, I wasn’t aware of how much I could do as a student and how far I could push myself. Now, looking back as a senior, I know what I am capable of and I have seen how much I can handle at once.

Aside from all the invaluable educational lessons, Mercy has taught me, I have learned just as many lessons about friendship. I have never known better friendships than those formed over years of shared experiences, endless time spent studying over textbooks and notepads, typing away at computers, planning and running events, and comparing classes.

The first friend I made at Mercy was a brilliant woman named Bianca, she was in my program. She was trying to get her Master’s in English; four years later, she‘s getting ready to finally complete that goal.

Our friendship started when we bonded over our major. She helped guide me through the beginning steps of the English program, how to branch out, join clubs, take part in events, and to step out of my comfort zone.

We would spend hours together, doing homework, proofreading each other’s essays, goofing around, and watching movies. Before I knew it, the days just started blended together, and we had been friends for two years. She was graduating with her Bachelors in English, and I was still working to do the same.

Now, as I am standing in the same place as Bianca, and many of my other friends before me, I am daunted by moving on from Mercy.

I have been trying to think of ways to properly say goodbye, and none seem to do justice to the College I love so dearly. Every building on campus holds so many cherished memories. Not a single spot goes without reminders of a moment I spent on the campus.

This won’t be the last you hear from me about my graduation. It has been on my mind a lot recently, and I somehow doubt that will change.