As of tomorrow, I will be a new honorary member of the roaring twenties brigade. But today, as I live my last day as a teen, it has finally hit me.

For the first time, I’m beginning to feel dread and terror bubble up inside of me. Just the phrase, “I’ll be 20,” makes it sound as if I’m entering a very adult stage of my life. 

How can the future of my adult life quickly approach? I’m only halfway through college.

I’ve always had the perception in the back of my head that people in their twenties were supposed to have significant others, have jobs, and create concrete plans for their future. 

I have none of those.

And what’s truly frightening is that I don’t feel like an adult at all. I mean, I still don’t know how to hold a conversation with an attractive guy, I don’t have a job or plans for grad school. 

Heck, you should watch me attempt to walk in heels!

Isn’t a 20-year-old supposed to have these types of things figured out? I don’t know. 

And it’s not like once the clock strikes midnight, I’ll magically have my life together. 

I remember turning 13, and how excited I was. It was as if turning 13 was a big deal. I’ve spent six years of my life being a teenager and it’s officially coming to an end. 

In these six years, I’ve gone through a lot. I’ve learned how to drive, graduated high school, interned in the District Attorney’s Office, changed my major, found the beauty in writing, and completed two years of college.

My teen years were tough, but they were something to give me a little backbone as I enter my 20’s, which is why it gives me something to look forward to.

Everyone tells me that my 20’s will be some of the best years of my life. Most of the time I only think they say that because turning 20 is one step closer to turning 21 and going to bars. 

If my 20’s will be some of the best years of my life, I’m going to make sure of that. Not by turning 21 and going to bars, none of that actually matters to me.

My 20’s will be some of the best years of my life because I’m going to make the best out of them as I can. As I turn 20 tomorrow, it not only means I’m no longer a teenager, but it also means I’m halfway to 40-years-old. 

People older reading this may laugh, but this is why I have the bubble feeling inside. When I think of how I’m halfway to 40, I realize that I don’t want to wake up one day, with a family and wonder why I never did this or that. And by that time, it may be too late to do any of it. 

Instead, I want to wake up one day and wonder, ‘how in the world did I do that!?’ That’s why as I vow to make sure my 20’s is the start of a new “resolution,” into making these next ten years some of the best years of my life. 

I want to conquer my fears, like taking a plane, skydiving or cliff driving. I want to go on road trips; they don’t have to have a destination, just let the road take me wherever it leads. 

At 20, I’ve visited 20 states. I hope to visit nearly close to 50 by my 40’s. If you think about it, I’ll have a story to write about it after. 

Perhaps people say that 20’s are the best years of your life because it’s also the years where you’re selfish and find out exactly who you are as a person. With six years of being a teen, there’s no way of knowing who you are, that’s why you’re given ten years to figure all that out. 

As I turn 20 tomorrow, I may not feel like an adult but I’ve come to the realization that 20 doesn’t actually mean “adulthood.” It actually means accepting the chaotic parts of your life to help you grow and figure out who you are. 

The number of years that you spend on earth doesn’t define a capacity of wisdom for the future. 

Once the clock strikes midnight, I may not magically pull my life together, but I’m okay with that. I’m ready for the rollercoaster of a ride to get there.

With a few more minutes of my teenage life passing, I end this by saying how anxious, but excited I am to turn the page into my ‘roaring twenties!’

Happy birthday, to me!