Gazing at my computer screen for hours, the cursor just stares back at me. As it’s staring, it’s constantly blinking.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Rubbing my eyes, and running my hands through my hair, I take a deep breath and sigh.

I can’t think of anything to write, and I’m on a deadline. I need to get this done.

I stare once more at the cursor, it’s still blinking at me. I never thought a cursor could look so intimidating until now.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

I know I’m not the best of writers, but when I put my mind to it, writing is a piece of cake. It just takes the right moment to inspire me. Maybe if I try reading or watching something, I’ll get inspired. Or will I just get distracted and start a whole new series on Netflix?

I don’t know, but I have to start writing something because it’s either now or never. I run my fingers across the keyboard, feeling the cold keys turn my hands to ice. I want to start my first sentence, but I can’t.

The cursor still stares at me.

***

I have experienced writer’s block before, but until now, it was never this bad. For whatever reason, I can’t come up with much on the spot, unless something strikes me, or inspires me.

It’s my senior year and now is definitely not the time to drop the ball. Instead, now is the time to crank out whatever kind of feelings I have.

This is the time to get myself together and make these four years all worth while. Time to put everything that I have learned over the last four years to good use. I can’t do that if my mind doesn’t want to focus. I need to figure out how to make these last couple of months worth anyone’s time.

Maybe my mind is trying to tell me something. Maybe this is my brain’s way of telling me, “You are about to get a taste of the real world, no more school.”

I honestly can’t tell at the moment. I know that being out in the real world and starting my life and career is what I have to look forward to, but I can’t shake this feeling of uncertainty. I just have this constant question of, “What if?”

What if this doesn’t work out? What if I can’t find a job in my field? What if they say I’m too inexperienced?

Those are all questions anyone in their last year of school has in general, I’m sure of.

I know I for one have done everything I can to train myself for my future. So, if someone doesn’t want to hire me, that’s their loss.

***

Still staring at the cursor, the cursor stares back at me.

Millions of ideas are running through my head, but I just don’t know where to start.

I take a deep breath, tilt my head back, and tap my fingers lightly on the keyboard. As I exhale, I look back at my screen, hoping words will just pop into my head.

Still lightly tapping my fingers across the keyboard, the cursor still stares at me.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

Maybe I’m just thinking way too much into this. Maybe it’s just simple writer’s block and I need to be inspired by something to get started.

***

I always feel as though I am just freaking out about the future, but I think I have every right to.  I mean, the future is full of surprises. What would life be if it wasn’t?

Now, some people I know hate not knowing what the future holds. For me, I have mixed feelings about that. I would like to know what fate has in store for me, but at the same time, who knows where life will take me.

I know I’m definitely not the only one out there that over thinks everything. But what I do know is, I may be the only one that compares writer’s block to the worries about the future. Who knows.

At the moment, I’m still just trying to get through the next couple of months I have left as a college student. I’m anxiously waiting on that moment to hear my name said on that day for everyone to hear. “Hopefully they pronounce it correctly,” I think to myself. But I know that’s a long shot.

So, as I sit here in this dark room I call home, with the Christmas lights on, I think to myself, “Life has its ups and downs. Keep on keepin’ on, and do what you do best. Write what you know.”

***

Two hours, three iced coffees, a whole lot of tapping, and too many thoughts about my future later, I think I may have finally figured out what I want to write about.

The writer’s block on the other hand, I’m sure will still pop up every now and then.

But everyone goes through writer’s block. It’s a part of life.

As far as the first words of my story?

Blink. Blink. Blink.