OP/ED: The Dreadful Disease Of Narcissistic Men


We’ve all may have experience or encountered men that think they are a reincarnation of Jesus Christ himself. Or Don Juan. Maybe Fabio. Perhaps they are impersonating their President.

The men that think they are larger than life and right about absolutely everything. The men whom when initiated in a conversation can’t help but continue to talk and boast about themselves, just itching for someone to stroke their ego. It is almost like a plague that has spread, specifically in this generation.

We see men like Donald Trump and Kanye West in positions of power and influence. We hear music by men that is catered to feeding the male ego and treating women as sexual beings. We see men in politics who demean women and cannot seem to take accountability for their own actions but will boost for days about how great they are as a candidate.

It is no wonder we have become the “Me Too” generation. I think women are finally sick and tired of letting men slide with their toxicity and harassment. Unfortunately, I still feel like we have a ways to go. It is rare that I find men truly understand that their narcism and toxic ego is the problem. Of course, not every man is like this, however, in this society, it is defiantly a prevalent epidemic that needs to be addressed.

Now, let us start by identifying what narcissism truly is.

Narcissism by definition is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s ideal self-image and attribute. This term steamed from Greek mythology when the young god, Narcissus, fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.

Narcissism is a psychology theory which was introduced in 1914 by Sigmund Freud’s essay, “On Narcissism”. According to the American Psychology Association, has even listed narcissistic personality disorder in it’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders.

Few realize it is literally a mental disorder. While this is only in severe cases, it is still an ongoing social and cultural problem.

Next, let’s look at a few traits of a narcissistic man:

Seeking out praise or positive reinforcement from others.

Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Whatever they crave or yearn for must be the best.

A lack of empathy or understanding feelings other than their own.

Responding to criticism with anger, humiliation or shame.

An expectation that others will agree with them and go along with what they want.

Exaggerating one’s talents and achievements.

Extreme jealousy.

Having a sense of entitlement and needing constant excessive admiration.

Every box can be checked off for Donald Trump. What is so unfortunate is that one of the most important positions in the world is being held by none other than a narcissistic man. Everything for Trump has to be “the best” and he is constantly exaggerating the facts. Trump is constantly saying, “the numbers are unbelievable” or “its the best it has ever been” for almost every policy he is asked about.

He has this obsession with building this big wall in the border between Mexico to make America “great” again. Or should I say white again? He belittles immigrants and categorizes them to be “bad people” and “criminals.”

He is the king of temper tantrums and even had the longest government shutdown of 35 days all because he wanted more money to build his precious wall in order to make America great up to par for liking and standards. He also loves to exaggerate his so-called achievements.  According to him, the economy has never been better, employment is at an all-time high and his acceptance rate has never been better. But reality says different.

Trump also shows no empathy and remorse and only thinks about his own feelings. When asked about the numerous employees that were not getting paid during the government shutdown, he replied saying that the people were with him in his efforts to build a wall and were, in fact, happy about it. Of course, it was far from the truth, but what can you expect from a narcissist.

When the devastating hurricane of Maria happened in Puerto Rico, he threw toilet paper at the citizens and still hasn’t shown much effort or care in their recovery even though some parts still do not have electricity nearly a year later.

Oh not to mention he shows no care that Flint, Michigan still needs millions of dollars to fix the water crisis in order for the citizens to be able to drink clean water but yeah, let us build a billion dollar wall! A big wall that keeps America great and strokes the ego of a man named Trump.

When people criticize him, he acts impulsively and angrily tweets calling women fat ugly pigs and even referring to them as sexual objects.

Then there is Kanye West, who go figure, is a Trump supporter. No one loves Kanye like Kayne. His whole brand is named Yeezys for crying out loud he literally feels like he is profit like. He even tweeted “perhaps we stop looking at my tweet rants and start looking at them as therapy and testimonials and some even ministry”.

Don’t get me wrong, I think musically he is very gifted. However, he also carries so many narcissistic traits and qualities. Kanye even said that when he puts on the Trump ha he feels like “Superman” kind of like when you put on a superman cape because he loved the “male energy” Trump represented. Well, this male energy is male toxicity and a whole lot of narcissism. Everything it stands for and embodies is disrespect, entitlement, and humiliation.

This mentality is also everywhere in music nowadays. Rappers will talk about how much money and jewelry they have and how many women they have but once the women treat them the same way they are whores and not valuable. They feed into this male alfa ego, that people feel is okay when it’s disrespectful.

Narcissistic men almost always make an abusive partner. In fact, according to Domestic Shelters Organizations, narcissism is a major red flag for an abusive partner. Believing in stereotypical gender roles or “male superiority,”  being extremely jealous or controlling and not being empathetic to your emotions is a major sign that an intimate partner is abusive.

In my opinion, I think that narcissism stems from insecurity. These men are so focused on letting the world know how great they are and are constantly seeking praise and admiration from others because they are overcompensating for their own insecurities. They want to constantly talk about how they will change the world maybe because they feel worthless. I find this especially to be true in narcissistic abusive partners. They become so controlling and jealous because, in reality, they feel inferior to other men. God forbid another man to look at you in a tank top because then you might realize that they are better-looking people out there then he is.

So when I met a guy who won’t let me get a word in or talks about how women should cover up more in order to be their girl, or talks about how they’re going to change the world with his vibrations and third eye energy it actually makes me feel sick.

I just run for the hills.

I think you should run from them too.