Party Time in The Building

And for Me.


Now when I sit down to write these weekly columns I already know what topic I will be tackling days in advance. Jotting various moments and memories before focusing in on what will make the final cut, but not today.


Today is different, today is party time. So kick back, put your feet up (as I finish gulping my third glass of wine on the clock), and enjoy.


(The first glass, the $60 tip, and the owner of the building: Mr. Bear Bunny holding a carrot.)

“It is just a glass of wine. You probably get so bored during your shift so please, enjoy,” said Kris, one of my tenant’s sisters and hostess of tonight’s shenanigans.


And you know what? She is right as I take my first sip of the fermented grapes. The 60 dollar tip she slid with the dark red glass for helping set up for the night’s debauchery might have slightly affected my decision.


My building does not have many events, but when they do they are rather lowkey and chill. They are also very lucrative.


All the doormen in the building, including myself, will occasionally take a peek at the work calendar in hopes of being on the clock when these rarities do occur. Today was my turn.


“There isn’t going to be many people tonight. Only like 25,” says Kris as she passes me a second glass, this time white.


“Firstly, I don’t even have 25 friends. Secondly what do you think? I’m just gonna keep drinking all evening while on the clock,” I say to myself as I take the glass from her, give a wink, and return to my throne.


Tonight’s festivities include one bachelorette party for one of Kris’ soon to be newlywed best friends. That probably explained the mountain of boxes of wine littering our employee break room. I thought I had mistakenly walked into a wine cellar.


The women begin to trickle in and with my cheeks beginning to get as rosy as that first glass I noticed one thing; Blonde hair.


From platinum to dirty, you would have thought you were in Sweden and not in some condominium building in lower Manhattan.


These chicks were pretty hot too, but I am a faithful dude so I did not try anything. I do not think I could say the same for past Brian.


You want to know how to get my tenants upset? Just have an event going on in the building that they either do not know about or were not invited to.


I do not even think it is the latter. My tenants come off as feeling the need to know every single thing that is going on in the building whether it affects them or not. I still love them though and yes even Greg too.


As the event kisses the late afternoon goodbye and welcomes the evening, more of the other tenants that occupy this Wall Street- esque building make their way home.


Unfortunately, their remarks are ones of redundancy.


It is either “what is going on back there?” or “did they clear it with property management?”


And unfortunately, my response is also one of redundancy.


I give them a slight chuckle, shrug my shoulders, and (depending on the question asked) it is either “a unit” or “I guess so” as those beautifully polished stainless-steel doors converge, putting an end to these “conversations”.


“Um I was not sure what color wine you were drinking, but I saw you drinking white so here is another,” said Jen, one of Kris’ friend’s and definitely someone who has the hots for this column writer with that wide-eyed approach. But remember, faithful dude.


“Oh, so you were watching me,” I rebut.


After a pregnant pause, I end the silence with a laugh and a “thank you” topped off with a half-smile.


The rest of the event is actually a lot more entertaining than most. The girls begin doing karaoke and some guy came in because of audio trouble.


But I had not called for a tech guy.


After the burning out lightbulb in my head finally goes off, I too go off. Far from that tech guy.


“Thank you so much for your help tonight Brian,” goes Kris as guest began dispersing after the end of an overall successful party.


“Any time,” I confirm to her.


As I wish the last of the lovely ladies a great and safe night I make my way back to the front desk and bask in a job well done and out the corner of my eye see Kris emerging from the darkened lounge with another liquid treat.


“I know you have been such a great help tonight, but I just need one more favor,” as she begins passing the glass of red wine my way with a sly look on her face.


“You want me to help clean up don’t you,” I say as I beginning sipping on my fourth glass.