A Letter To Me At Fourteen…


When I was fourteen, I wish someone told me some things. If I could write a letter to myself, I’d know what I would say.

I’d say I know it’s tough when kids in school make life feel complicated and use you as their person to pick on. I know it just doesn’t seem fair, but it’s okay to let it out and tell them to stop. Stand up for yourself. Have a little faith in yourself and you’ll see. Don’t let them define you or use you.

I know you may be waiting and wishing upon every star in the sky, but he’s not right for you. When the first break up happens, leave it broken up, don’t go back. He’s definitely not worth the tears and pain. Trust me on this one.

When you get the internship at the District Attorney’s office, continuously apply yourself. Because one day you’re going to wake up and thank the lord for everything you experienced there that you see to this day. And you’ll see that by interning there, it will open your eyes to what you thought was only a cinema life.

And when you go for your road test and you watch a car accident happen right before your very eyes, don’t let that get in the way of your nerves. But hey, losing points for going too slow is actually not a bad thing at all. It just proves that you were being very cautious!

When you’re ready to graduate, thank Mr. Pane for letting you spend most of your days in his classroom to escape confrontation with fellow classmates. Also, thank Ms. Ippolito for being there for you. She’s one of the only ones in that school that actually noticed how much you grew up from the very first day you stepped foot into high school to the last time you did.

And when you’re at prom, and the prom queen turns out to be the girl that cyber bullied you, I know you’ll probably think the only reason why she got crowned queen was because when she cyberbullied you on Twitter, everyone else egged her on to do it about two weeks prior. But, that’s okay. Do not, and I mean do not let this affect you. Just know she had to put her head down that night knowing the only reason she became queen was because of what she did to you.

Then, when you’ve already graduated and your aunt sends a graduation card to only your brother and doesn’t even once acknowledge you, please know it’s okay to be mad. You did nothing wrong, it’s just that’s the way some people are, even if they are family. No matter how badly you wish it, remember, you can’t pick and choose who you want as family.

When it comes time to picking and choosing what college you want to go to, I know once you see Gettysburg College, you’ll be awe. You’ll make that your top college on your list because of the location and the history, but keep your options open, don’t set it in stone.

Mercy College may not be the college you see yourself going to, but you’ll end up meeting some of the best people. You’ll have a rough start with your first roommate, then switch and have a new one that will turn into one of the best friends you’ll ever have.

You’ll be stuck in your first homeland security class with all guys, and though it might not be that bad, maybe two or three were actually attractive, be careful. And if you don’t want to take online classes, definitely do not sign up for them! They will leave you in nothing, but confusion and you won’t know anything that you learned. Also, do not take a management class, you will end up dropping the class, believe me.

At Mercy, you’ll also have a professor that will help you realize that you are not utilizing your writing talent – instead of letting it be wasted, you’re going to do something with it.

You may not believe me right now, but you’ll write for the college newspaper. And when you do, you’ll discover that writing turns out to be one of your scapegoats and helps you get things off your chest.

I know you may think you’ve got so much going for you right now, but know that you have far more up ahead. And you’ll make new friends. I know it’s hard right now to see past Friday, and I know it may feel like there’s a knife sticking out of your back and you’re probably wondering how you’ll survive, but you’ll make it through this, trust me.

I’ll end this by saying these are nowhere near the best years of your life. You still have plenty of time for that!

PS. When Christmas 2011 comes around, don’t rush baking the traditional Italian Anisette cookies with grandma. Please take your time and make the best of that time, because that will be the last time you’ll ever get to bake them with her.

Hug her every chance you can. Visit her as many times as you’re able to.

And when she passes, please, please, please, do not regret not visiting her while she’s in the hospital and hooked up to many wires and not all there. She’ll understand why you weren’t there. She doesn’t want you to see her like that.

And when you make the eulogy at her funeral, keep your head up and know you can do this. Have no fear because she’s there with you in spirit helping you do this.

Listen to me if you can, Ms. I’m-14-who-knows-it-all. Do your best. I get it.  I’m trying to avoid Ms.  30-who-has-seen-it-all, or so she says.