When I think back to my early childhood years, I think about a little girl who wasn’t afraid of anything. She didn’t give a care in the world about what people said to her wearing a princess dress wherever she went. She’d straighten her tiara so it wouldn’t fall, and proceeded to walk fiercely as if a thousand people were watching.  She not only loved every little aspect about herself, but also everything around her.

She wasn’t afraid to shine.

In fact, she loved to.

She treated herself and others with nothing but kindness.

Where is she now?

She’s lost. She slowly started to drift away from who she was.

She veered off that beautiful path of self-love and entered a dark empty ditch filled with low self-esteem. She gave in to the common theme of comparing how she looked to women on social media. She worried that if her boobs and butt weren’t as big as the other girls, she wouldn’t be considered socially acceptable.

As the years went on, the worse it got.

She hasn’t been able to shine the way she used to. She got caught up in wanting to act and look like everyone else around her. She forgot who she was and why it’s so special to be different from the rest.

Yes, it’s me behind the curtain. 

When I think about having self-love, I think about freedom. Freedom from judging myself for who I am, freedom from comparing my body to other women, and freedom from the negative thoughts about why I look the way I do. Isn’t that something we should all be striving for? Women should be bringing up women and not tearing them down.

We have all experienced the moment of waking up and taking a long hard look into the mirror. Analyzing every little detail about our body, and then proceeding to list the reasons why you hate it. Shaming yourself into thinking you’re not beautiful nor worthy to be. Then walking away thinking about how you wish you looked different. Which only leaves you with emptiness.

Self-love is hard work. You don’t just wake up one day and automatically love everything about yourself all over again. Just like everything else, good things take time. It takes not only loving the way you look but also everything you’ve been through.

Yes, even the bad issues.

A quote I will never forget is from Andrea Dykstra, author and Master Life Coach. She said, “In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.”

Every broken heart, every tear you’ve shed, and every rock bottom moment counts. They have all shifted the way we see life and without them, who would we be? If we cannot accept those experiences, our past will hold our minds hostage by replaying those memories over and over again. There is no other way to release and let go of the past other than confronting and accepting it. The hatred, guilt, and or regret won’t do anything but fill a void temporarily.

When you reach that moment of complete bliss, you are not only feeding your soul but you are becoming a higher version of yourself. Once you start to love yourself you begin to change the way you see and treat others. You’ll stop feeling guilty about not making time for people that don’t treat you with the respect you deserve.

Sooner or later your mindset will rise and you won’t have any tolerance for toxic relationships. You’ll look into your mirror and remind yourself how lovable and amazing you are.

If you want to wake up and feel good about yourself, then self-love is critical. It’s something you have to practice daily. You can start by journaling about the traits you love about yourself. Reread those points over and over so you can reprogram the subconscious. Put in all the work you can to become a better you.

All in all, self-love is the most important form of love there is. You deserve the love you so desperately crave but not from someone else, from you. So do it, do it for the little girl that started it all. Finish walking down the path of self-love for her. Be a constant reminder that you aren’t perfect but you love your perfectly imperfect self.