Not Really Dead (Essay)

I was his sunshine and he was mine. It’s been a little over 1 year since he passed, time goes by too fast. I think about him everyday but I’m shocked my grandmother does not talk more about him. I stood over him when his eyes closed and he passed on. My dad was out driving one of my grandfather’s aids/nurses home but he had a long talk with him a few days prior at the hospital and he felt like they left things in an excellent place. My love for him is never ending. He was my grandfather and I was his only granddaughter. My grandma now lives in their house alone with her aid/nurse since there were complications and we could not get her into that assisted living facility/home after all. That place would of been great for her socialization but I make sure I keep her mind sharp everyday by keeping her up to date with things, encoring her, calling her on the phone and going over to spent time with her even if it’s only for an hour. My grandma is a great joy just like her husband was; they fit each other very well. My grandma loves and appreciates me very much. Nothing will stop me from remembering him; he was and is alive everyday. Sing songs and dance, that’s what he loved to watch me do. I was his Kelly no matter what and his house now feels different walking around without him there.

Without him there my dad decided to separate the house and close off the upstairs from the rest of the house in hopes to get someone to rent out the upstairs. The house was always a two family house and there is a bathroom downstairs and my grandma cannot walk up the steps anyway so the upstairs is actually not needed. Life style changes happen all the time for whatever reason and that is one that took place for my grandma. She now sees her house differently and is trying to be as okay as she can be with everything that is going to happen and what has already taken place. There was lots of love between us since you always saw him light up like the sun was shinning, hence the nickname sunshine that he called me, whenever I came around and we were in each other’s company. Anyone who ever met him knew “Bud”, his nickname, as a man who never complained but was worried about other people’s happiness. His life changed after his youngest son died. That was when it seemed life would never be the same. Loosing a son/child has to be the hardest thing, no is the hardest thing I correct. My grandfather was not the same after that and he went down hill with his health and he slowly had no more joy for life, but regardless he was the joy of my life.

Grandpa I still see the picture in my head of you closing your eyes and passing on and a part of me passed on with you but believe you me I have become stronger since I don’t do that well with emotions. Ironically the sun was shinning that afternoon in August when he passed. He died on his mother’s birthday but his spirit was shinning bright in my heart along with the sun outside his bedroom window, which was shinning too. My sunshine is still shinning and as long as me and everyone else who knew him keeps his memory alive he will always live out the name he gave me, sunshine, that in return I gave him back since we both brought great light to each other. That light which was shinning when he passed will never die because that day he never really did die.

Handsome Photo of My Grandpa, Frank Sisco Sr. at Age 70.
(He Died at Age 84)