Language, the art of expressing oneself through words, has become my greatest passion.

The intricate dance of written or spoken words captivates me, serving as the conduit for our thoughts and emotions. It’s essential for communication, a tool that has shaped my identity and influenced my journey of moving from country to country.

I find myself going back and forth with three languages in my head.

I learn daily from all three, principally Spanish and English, my principal languages of expression.

While I take pride in my ability to craft narratives in written English, the spoken word occasionally becomes a labyrinth, stirring emotions of self-doubt and shame.

Ashamed of not sounding fluent.

I know I know it – I overthink it too much sometimes, or it is hard to get back from one language to another.

This linguistic journey, forged through my experiences in multiple countries, is a captivating saga. A harmonious dance between tongues that has become an indelible part of who I am.

And yet, despite my proficiency, a persistent fear whispers doubts, fueled by the concern that others might perceive me as lacking fluency, casting shadows on my linguistic abilities.

When I was back home, I got the blessing to be in a bilingual school, a decision my parents made with love and sacrifice. The experience laid the foundation for my education in a U.S. system high school.

However, the dominance of Spanish in my daily life made fluent English conversations a rarity, challenging my linguistic comfort zone.

When I did my unique experience abroad, I learned the stark differences between German and Spanish, highlighting the sheer diversity within languages. The distinctiveness of the German language compelled me, even though I initially held a somewhat negative perspective towards it.

Coming to New York challenged me by pushing me to the bridge gap between my written eloquence and spoken fluency.

People may say I’m not shy, but there is a layer of shyness, particularly in verbal communication.

My confidence in English has increased; however, it is an ongoing struggle intertwined with moments of insecurity.

One time, I was told if I didn’t have an accent, I would sound “illiterate stupid,” and she still proceeded to say, “No offense.”

Ok. I am not offended.

I went to my room and started pondering whether I sounded as illiterate as suggested. It’s astonishing how easily someone can undermine us, much like that particular individual did to me.

For those grappling with language challenges and fluency, I empathize with your struggles. I try my best, even in the face of such critiques, I summon the strength to persist and improve.

Fluent in English, conversant in Spanish, and aspiring to master German, I find myself inspired.

Multilingualism is a genuine expression, an intricate dance between cultures and identities.

Sometimes, I feel pain because I sense judgmental gazes directed my way whenever I stumble over my words in English. It’s as if a spotlight is cast upon me, intensifying my feelings of insecurity.

And that’s okay.

Despite occasional challenges and moments of self-consciousness, I find solace in acknowledging that intelligence transcends linguistic perfection. Accents, with their unique melodies, add character to our voices, making the world richer culturally and more diverse.

The world is filled with accents, each contributing to the beauty of communication. Accents, far from being perceived as shortcomings, possess an undeniable allure. My accent, a gift from my roots, is a point of pride, a testament to the richness of my linguistic journey.

Learning a language, or several is an accomplishment in itself. It doesn’t demand perfection but celebrates the marvel of having multiple languages coexist in our minds. This linguistic diversity opens doors to new worlds, offering varied perspectives and insights into the human experience.

It makes you see the best of all worlds. At least it does for me. 

With its romantic allure, Spanish becomes my sanctuary in moments of heightened emotion. Its expressive capability resonates with the dramatic depth of human feeling. My feeling.

I discovered a distinct beauty and elegance within English, rendering it uniquely captivating.

 The most spoken language of all.

While I occasionally yearn for the comforting embrace of Spanish, I have grown accustomed to English. It’s a continuous learning process, with days of euphoria and moments of frustration.

This is my daily obstacle, nothing over the top. It’s nothing I can’t handle, but maybe something you can relate to.

You are not alone in this; I understand the struggle, the raw emotion of feeling misunderstood, and the anxiety accompanying the vulnerability of verbal expression.

But remember, no matter what the language:

You can handle it. 

Puedes manejarlo.

Du kannst damit umgehen.