Advice to my Sister


My sister is one of my best friends. We have this unexplainable bond ever since we were as young as I can remember. We call each other Cheetah girls because that has been our favorite movie since 2006 and whenever we are together it is nothing but laughs. We tell each other everything, there are no walls to our vulnerability with one another and I am so thankful to have her.

Now that she is sixteen years old I want her to be prepared to be a strong an successful woman in a world that is so often cruel to us, especially since we are women of color. I’ve made so many mistakes on my journey to womanhood that I wish an older sister was there to guide me. However, being the oldest, I had to take one for the team. I have learned from my own heartbreaks and downfalls. I want to share these lessons with all of my colored sisters out there who are placing the crowns on their heads as they march to womanhood.

  1. First, know that as you step into womanhood we are infinitely strong. The women before us have carried so much trial, tribulation, and pain on their backs that have allowed us to become resilient and overcome any obstacle life has to offer. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
  2. If you find that you don’t fit in it is because you were made to stand out. You are a star and should never dim your brightness due to other peoples’ insecurities.
  3. Your brown skin color and hair texture is not a kink or fetish for the desire and taking of men. You are a queen and must uphold the jewels on your crown up high. Love all the miracles that you are from the inside out.
  4. Remember that sometimes friends turn to foes. This is crucial when finding the right path that only you can choose for yourself. It is okay to outgrow people and it is okay to evolve as life is constantly changing.
  5. Do not become discouraged if he does not want you. Do not pick apart your flaws. Know that with every relationship, the possibility of an end will be there and you will be fine. God will have bigger plans for you. Hold yourself with the utmost dignity because you are forever favored in his eyes.
  6. This world is cruel and sometimes you will fold, however you are not broken. You will feel pain, but you must remember the sun rises and sets every day. This gives you a clean slate to start over again. Don’t forget you are a part of this experience called life and it is beautiful.

Never forget I will always be here to hold your hand.

Love, Val