Her Body, Her Decision


“Abstinence makes sense” was the mantra of my entire high school career. Teachers, counselors, and parents made it clear that teenagers, especially girls, should not be indulging in sexual activity of any kind. Some of my peers did not listen and some of them did. For the ones who took that advice, they decided that their college years were going to be the time for them to explore their sexuality. For the ones that did not listen, they viewed it as being forced into making a choice without being educated as to why it was the right decision.

Our college years are supposed to be some of the best years of our life. These are our critical years during which we not only decide our career path but the power of self-actualization and discovering our self-identity. Sexual freedom is a part of finding out who you are. For a long time, women were supposed to keep themselves “untouched” until marriage and were punished when they wanted to live outside of those boundaries. Remaining a virgin should be the choice of each individual and that individual only. It should never be a decision that is made based on a social construct that is instituted by society. Policies that still hold women to those standards or degrade the ones who enjoy their sexual experiences are upholding ancient beliefs, and it is time that we realize that.

What is the end goal here? Are we going to force women to wear chastity belts like historic times or are we seeking to become a progressive society for women? Think about that! Why should technology, tradition, and education be allowed to advance, but women’s rights remain constant?

I have witnessed men being praised for having plenty of girlfriends, but women are disrespected when they do the exact same thing. Double standards have always existed between the sexes and it is unacceptable. Women can enjoy sex too. It was not just created for a man’s pleasure, and some of us can teach men a thing or two to help them improve their performance.

Why are women placed on a pedestal that they never asked to be on? We are not delicate little flowers that you need to protect, so men should stop telling their daughters that they can date at 35 and their sons that they can date much earlier. I never found that sexist joke to be funny.

I read a story about the rapper, T.I., and how he took his daughter to the gynecologist every year to ensure that her hymen was still intact. Apparently, the fact that her hymen was still intact meant that she was still a virgin, and that was very important to him. I remember thinking to myself how bizarre it was for a father to be exhibiting that kind of behavior. I was disgusted that this man was allowed to police the body of his adult daughter and invade her privacy in such a disrespectful manner, by not only getting her medical information from her doctor but having the nerve to admit it to the media in such a cavalier manner. However, I was not surprised at all. There will always be some men who feel that they have ownership of the bodies of the women in their lives whether it is their sister, wife, or daughter.

It doesn’t stop there. Some of them feel the need to have an input on women even if they are complete strangers. I remember one of the questions that I was asked on a first date being about the number of sexual partners I’d had in my life.

If you haven’t seen the movie “What’s my number?” starring Anna Faris and Chris Evans, then you should probably check that out. For the entire movie, Faris’s character, Ally, is obsessed with the number of sexual partners that she had because she read a magazine article that said women who slept with more than twenty guys usually do not get married. Like, what the hell?

My grandma always used to say, “Men have been in womens’ business since my time. Even the words menstruation and menopause start with the word men. They always find a way to be involved in our experiences.”